


Not A Friday Night

by AmelieofK



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Chaptered, Fluff, Junbobficsparty2019, M/M, Marriage, Smut, Work In Progress, junbob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 11:58:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17828117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmelieofK/pseuds/AmelieofK
Summary: There's no secret in making a marriage work. You just do what's needed to be done and keep on doing it. If you have time for love in between, consider yourselves very lucky. Because after all the kids, the job and the lack of time, all you have left is the love, the friends and each other. If you have managed to survive not wanting to kill each other in between, that is.





	1. Fuck Friday Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 7 of JunBobFicsParty2019 Challenge (Theme : Marriage)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have been married for ten years, with two kids and have relegated lovemaking to a schedule on Friday night. But, what if one of them decides to break the schedule? Will it work? Also, why is Hanbin taking so long to come back home?

Bobby exited the club, leaving behind the thrum and throes of sweaty bodies and flashing lights. He nodded at the man stationed at the back entrance, who returned the gesture and opened the door for him. The limo was already idle; waiting for him. He entered the back seat, feeling completely exhausted.

“Rough set?” Junhoe’s voice filtered through the dim darkness of the spacious back seat as he tapped the divider and the limo started cruising out of the alley. Bobby sighed, sliding down the back seat. An arm went up, hands searching for Junhoe’s face. “Here. I’m here.” Junhoe said reassuringly, turning his face to let the fingers find him, but Bobby passed his face and instead grabbed the collar of his suit and pulled him down quite suddenly. “Ya, Bobby, the fu-…” And that was all Junhoe managed as their lips connected, filling the limo with the broken silence of deep inhales.

“I miss you.” Bobby rasped breathlessly against his mouth when he finally released Junhoe.

“It’s not Friday night.” Junhoe muttered hungrily, lips still parted against Bobby’s, indicating that he wanted more.

“Fuck Friday night.” Bobby declared petulantly, pulling Junhoe down again, this time not letting him back up.

 

**~~~~~**

 

“Nani, has Career Day in school next week. I did it last year, so it’s your turn.” Junhoe informed him moments after he came, as Bobby turned over and settled heavily onto the bed beside him. Bobby was still panting hard and he barely remember how they made it from the limo to the bedroom, but they somehow did. Junhoe turned sideways, gazing at him intently. He had the gig for almost four months now. Late nights were starting to become the norm again for the both of them. Bobby’s jawline was back in business. Not that it ever left, just sharper now and probably in need of a shave.

“Did Nani say who he wants to go for it?” Bobby exhaled, glancing at the digital clock by the bedside table. It was close to two in the morning. Junhoe kept his silence. Of course, Nani would say Papa. At the rate things were going lately, Junhoe was the only parent the children saw in the evenings. Bobby caressed Junhoe’s hair gently, then did what he always does after a long day at work and he met Junhoe again; tenderly trace that statuesque profile.

“I’m thirsty. I’m getting water from the kitchen. You want anything?” Junhoe sat up, hands searching for his shirt. He found it crumpled under Bobby’s body. He pulled it up and out then put it on, leaving it unbuttoned and stood up. Bobby appraised him with a loving smile. He still looked good after all these years, still addicted to working out. Bobby had no complaints. None at all.

“Beer and chips.” Bobby requested, smiling cheekily.

“Now, in the middle of the…” Junhoe flashed him a ludicrous look, glancing quickly at the clock, ”morning?” Bobby pursed his lips stubbornly. Junhoe rolled his eyes, not that Bobby will ever gain weight from snacking. His diet was still as ridiculous as ever. Bobby’s idea of a good date was still pizza, beer and a movie at home. Some things never change and Junhoe could live with that.

“I’m hungry, jagiyaaaa.” Bobby faked a cry. He was good at those, probably picked it up from their youngest, Dongie. Junhoe nodded, laughing huskily and padded out, grabbing his pants from the floor as he left the bedroom without looking back. That was what he got for breaking the Friday night rule. He was standing in front of the fridge, chugging milk straight from the carton when he heard the soft, tiny voice.

“Papa. You’re not supposed to drink from the carton.” Junhoe almost sprayed the milk in his mouth. He returned the carton to its place and grabbed a can of beer. Dongie was standing by the kitchen doorway in his favourite Batman pjs, the one Junhoe had to buy ten of, because he refused to sleep in anything but, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Hey squirt, what are you doing up?” Junhoe rebuked him gently.

“Is Daddy home?” The boy asked, his Papa nodded. Dongie is just like his Papa and perhaps that was why Bobby doted on him the most. Everything was an exact replica of Junhoe as a child, especially the way his eyes turn into mere slits when he flashed that gummy smile. The boy held out his arms.

“You help me carry the chips and I’ll carry you.” Junhoe relented, passing him the chips and picking him up. He would turn three next month. “Ahchacha!~you got heavier.” Junhoe commented, inhaling the boy’s blueberry shampoo scent. They had to buy it of course, because the bottle had Batman’s logo printed all over it. They got back to the bedroom and Bobby was already hiding under the blankets. “Guess who I met in the kitchen?” Junhoe declared brightly as he walked back into the bedroom.

“Guess who’s with me here?” Bobby groaned, hand up, finger pointing to the covers. Junhoe heard a familiar chuckle. Nani jumped out from the blankets, that cheeky smile; so much like his Daddy’s, plastered across his lips. Junhoe loved everything about that smile, especially the way his nose scrunched up into a button whenever he flashed it. He hopped on the bed towards Junhoe.

“What are all these naughty boys doing up and about at this hour?” Junhoe declared, throwing Bobby his cold one as he settled Dongie down onto the bed and then let Nani climb onto his shoulders.

“Do I qualify as one too?” Bobby quipped, sitting up and opening his beer, as Dongie jumped onto his lap to claim a hug.

“You are the leader of the naughty boys in this house.” Junhoe sassed, bringing Nani for a piggyback ride before flipping him over deftly like any experienced father. The boy squealed in pleasure.

“Papa, I want you to do Career Day at my school.” Nani whispered now as Junhoe brought him for a spin around the room. He would turn five this year, has an obsession for planets, the solar system and could practically be taught to say anything. Junhoe eyed Bobby narrowly as he settled the boy back down onto the bed.

“I didn’t say anything to him!” Bobby was exclaiming innocently now. Dongie was pestering him to open the bag of chips in his hands. He obliged, kissing the boy on his forehead.

“But I did it last year, it’s Daddy’s turn.” Junhoe argued to Nani, who stuck his tongue out, tumbling towards Bobby. Junhoe quickly reminded, “Not too much, Dongie. It’s a school night. Nani, you can only have some. Then it’s back to bed. “ Junhoe said firmly, resting back against the pillows watching his family in the middle of the bed. He had given up telling Bobby not to eat in bed in their fifth year and now, it had become a habit even he had started following. Bobby was regaling them with one of his tall tales and Junhoe smiled. He was definitely better with the kids than he ever could be.

 

**~~~~~**

 

Ten minutes later, they were leading the kids back to their bedroom after washing up. Junhoe nodded to the night nanny to take a break as Bobby watched the kids climbed back into their beds. They took turns to kiss the boys on their forehead.

“Papa.” Dongie whispered sleepily from his bed. Batman bedsheets, of course. Junhoe walked over and sat by him on the bed, adjusting the covers.

“Yes, dear heart?” Junhoe asked, caressing the little one’s cheek.

“Can you sing me a song?” The boy requested, because just like his Daddy, he loves his Papa’s voice the most. Junhoe glanced at Bobby, who stood by the doorway silently, arms folded and a brilliant smile playing on his lips. Junhoe gazed back at Dongie.

“Yes, Papa. Sing us a song.” Nani insisted, yawning loudly. Junhoe stood up and walked over to Nani’s bed. His bedsheets had galaxy prints all over it. Junhoe nodded and started singing,

“ _Mianha-daen mareun jebal hajji marajweo, saranghaesseottdamyeon, neoui mal hammadiga muneojige hae, I’ll be alright, shigani jinamyeon…_ ”

Bobby closed his eyes, basking in Junhoe’s voice. Like fine wine, it had gotten better; deeper in flavour and with notes that could go lower and huskier than before. No matter how tired he got or how challenging things became; all and any arguments they both encountered in their lives, Junhoe’s voice always brought him back to the reality of their love. It was better than any respite Bobby could think of. They took the long, hard road and he had the hardest time convincing Junhoe that with time, it would work, that they could work and that it would be worth the ride.

The decision to have kids via a surrogate mother had been the most challenging one in their journey. The debate on whose sperm should be provided went on for months, before Bobby finally caved in to Junhoe’s request and even then, after Junhoe promised that the next pregnancy would be done with his contribution. Bobby never imagined in a million years of having an argument over the use of his bodily fluids. It might be absolutely hilarious on hindsight, but it was the most frustrating period for the both of them when it had come up for discussion.

When Nani was born, the transition from being married to being parents came full circle for the both of them.

Bobby was amazed by the selfless sacrifice Junhoe took to raise their children. They both had successful solo careers domestically; Bobby was still producing albums with B.I. or on his own for other groups, while Junhoe had run the circuit, his name up in lights in a majority, if not all, musical productions. Even before Nani was born, Junhoe dropped everything to be there. He announced his semi-retirement a month before the surrogate mum was due. He set up the nursery, with help from his mother and sister, signed up for classes on how to care for a baby and looked after the surrogate mum as if she was his own wife. He even ensured that she was taken care of during her confinement after birth. Everyone had been impressed by how adept Junhoe had been looking after the newborn when they came for the baby shower, all except for Bobby, who just beamed proudly.

Jinhwan had been touched when they decided to name their firstborn after him. He was more than honoured to be made a godfather and even had two of his many cafes themed after planets and superheroes in honour of his nephews’ interests. His own wife, doted after the children and after trying to have one of their own for almost three years now, his firstborn was due in May. No one was more happier for him than both Bobby and Junhoe.

“What’s your schedule like tomorrow?” Bobby was asking now as they returned to their bedroom. Junhoe started undressing, intending to take a shower. Bobby chugged the beer, eyes fixated on Junhoe’s broad and enticing back that was walking away from him, into the bathroom.

“I have an interview at SBS in the afternoon. I might run into Jinan and Donghyuk, they were invited too. Some variety about life after retiring as an idol or some shit like that.” Junhoe mentioned as he turned on the heater and started filling the tub with warm water. Bobby discarded his pants and padded in after him to pee. The sight of Junhoe naked still palpitates his heart. There was something about his magnificent build and his smooth, fair skin that never failed to capture Bobby’s attention completely. Sometimes, he finds it hard to believe that it all belongs to him.

“Is Donghyuk back already!?” Bobby exclaimed, washing up, half-annoyed at not being informed. It had been close to eleven years since Donghyuk migrated to Canada, after their disbandment, It was also where he had met his wife, five years ago. He visited them twice a year and Skyped at least four or five times a month. He now ran a dance academy in Vancouver that had a tie-in to YGX.

Junhoe threw a bath bomb and watched it fizzled. Bobby washed his hand, gazing at Junhoe and appreciating the way he was smiling now. It was that babyish smile, when he was looking at something that fascinated him.

“Flying in tomorrow morning. He wouldn’t come back without visiting us once. Don’t be so cranky about it.” Junhoe dismissed, twirling his fingers, watching as the cloud of orange powder disintegrated and turned the water a bright orange, completely mesmerised. Bobby bumped his body against Junhoe purposely to tease him. Junhoe flicked the remnants of the water on his fingers at Bobby.

“Did he bring Tammy and the girls?” Bobby asked excitedly, opening the drawer and taking out the electric razor. Donghyuk and his wife’s twin daughters were the most precious little angels they had ever seen. Junhoe glanced at him, struggling to untangle the wire. He walked over, extricating the razor from Bobby’s hands, giving him a resigned look. Bobby leaned against the sink, hands on Junhoe’s hips and pulled him closer. He let his lips trail warmly along that graceful neck to that perfect little heart-shaped mole just below his jawline and licked it.

“They’ll join him later. He’s coming down with prospective dancers for the academy. If he has to stay longer, Tammy will come down with Ava and Aria. “ Junhoe informed him, slightly breathless by what Bobby was doing. Donghyuk’s twins are four years old and inherited their mother’s blonde-hair and blue eyes. Bobby said it was a blessing that they did.

“And how are you so much more informed than me now?” Bobby asked. He was really enjoying watching Junhoe, naked and engrossed on the task at hand. It was a guaranteed turn-on.

“Because you have been too busy to talk to him. And because, if you actually fold these wires properly after using them, then they wouldn’t be so tangled. “Junhoe was saying now, eyes widened in frustration, as Bobby slid his hand on the smooth, rounded swells of his derriere, lips devoting attention to the mole on his shoulder. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” Junhoe warned, eyes widened in alarm. He was so going to get him one of those wireless electric razors tomorrow.

“Ah-jagiya, you know I always follow through on all my actions.” Bobby kissed him gently on the supple lips. Junhoe plugged the wire in, passing Bobby the razor.

“Well join me in the tub later and we’ll do something about it. Go shave. You need it.” Junhoe countered and moved away. “I’m meeting Omma with the kids for dinner tomorrow.” He added as he slid into the tub with a long, contented sigh. Bobby made short work of his jawline. He was getting hard just listening to Junhoe talking. Shaving had suddenly become unimportant.

“Maybe I’ll join you guys before I start work tomorrow.” He contended, switching the razor off and hurriedly putting it back into the drawer, folding wires be damned.

“Would be good if you could, she’s been missing you.” Junhoe quipped, moving forward instinctively as Bobby slid into the tub behind him. The tub could fit five, but Bobby was not going anywhere farther than where Junhoe was going to be. “She was upset that you couldn’t join us for Chuseok last month.” Bobby’s mom did not get to see her sons often and it was a long time since she went back to US to visit her grandson there. Junhoe had to make apologies on his behalf, because Bobby had to fly to Macau for a last minute DJ gig at Seungri-hyung’s request. One of his DJs went awol and Bobby felt a personal obligation to lend a helping hand for the casino’s New Year’s Party.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby was saying now as he shifted, knees up and apart, allowing Junhoe space to slowly ease his body against him. “You’ve been juggling work and kids without me for awhile now.” He said, pursing his lips and kissing Junhoe’s nape. Junhoe turned his body to the side slightly, to glance at him. Bobby grinned, quietly admiring that stony profile.

“I’ll forgive you if you do Nani’s Career Day.” Junhoe intoned, closing his eyes as he let the warm water calm his tired body. Bobby cupped the water onto Junhoe’s chest and started washing the muscular arm that was resting between his knees. Bobby laughed softly.

“ _Arasseo_ , _arasseo_ , I’ll do Career Day.” He caved in, fingers finding Junhoe’s waist under the water and going further downwards. Junhoe shifted a little more towards Bobby to give him better access.

“Thank God, for that then. I don’t really want the mothers asking me if they can touch my biceps again.” Junhoe exhaled slowly as Bobby gazed at him, surprised by his confession, fingers finding and folding over what they had been looking for.

“So, that’s why you are so hell bent on me doing it?” Bobby asked in amusement. Junhoe nodded petulantly, his eyes were clouded, lips parted ever so slightly, so Bobby knew he was on the right track. Bobby laughed again. “You’re a weird one, _jagiya_.”

“You’re one to call me weird when you’re the one having chips at two in the morning.” Junhoe teased, resting his head against Bobby’s shoulder as Bobby’s hand, which had been busy while they were talking began stroking him, smooth and slow. He circled an arm around Bobby’s back, fingers caressing in and around, tracing Bobby’s tattoo at the back.

“Chanwoo asked me if we wanted to bring the kids to watch the game at Lotte Stadium this weekend?” Bobby asked, timing himself because, witnessing Junhoe getting high from his touch is still the biggest thrill of his life. Junhoe stretched his neck again, but this time, hand gripping Bobby’s left knee and head resting on his right. Bobby groaned at the sight of Junhoe’s clavicles, latching his lips against that graceful neck, tongue coming out the slightest, tasting the familiar salt of his skin.

“Did he call you - awh fuck, Bobby…” Junhoe asked and then swore, because he was going to come sooner than he wanted to. He thrusts his body slightly against the strokes and Bobby nodded smiling, lips still on Junhoe’s neck. “Does he still own that baseball team?” Junhoe asked, breathlessly. Bobby nodded, groaning again at the sight of Junhoe, whose eyes were fluttering close and biting his lower lip in ecstasy. His strokes had become urgent now, because Junhoe’s face was speaking to him and it was telling him that he was about to come soon. “It’s been awhile since we had a family outing.” Junhoe contended and then shouted softly, his voice barely registering a whisper as he exhaled his release. He turned to Bobby, folding his lips over Bobby’s mouth gratefully.

Their schedules were crazy, he had had to cut down on a lot of engagements since Bobby got the gig. Bobby was flying off to Brazil for some house festival in a month's time and Junhoe did not even want to start in on that.

“That settles it then. I’ll tell Chanwoo we’re coming down after Sunday Mass.” Bobby surmised when their kiss ended. “That boy is really funny. He told me he’s been dating someone for awhile now but until today I don’t even know who she is.” Bobby professed, scratching his head. Junhoe shook his head and then sighed, completely depleted and breathing hard. It made for a spectacular view. “You alright?” Bobby asked, butting him gently on the cheek with his head.

“I’m fine, love. ” Junhoe assured him, folding water over Bobby’s chest where his name had been tattooed. Bobby had gotten it while they were on their honeymoon in L.A. close to ten years ago. “It’s been a busy few months, that’s all.”

“Where did you get this bath bomb from, that scent is making me want you so bad!?” Bobby whispered harshly, cupping Junhoe’s face, bringing him closer to his lips.

“Yunhyeong.” Junhoe admitted. Bobby stopped, lips still touching Junhoe’s and then shifted back, face set in a moue of disbelief.

“What?! Is he making bath products now?!” He shouted in amazement. His voice echoed in the cavernous bathroom and Junhoe shushed him, splashing water onto his chest. Bobby laughed, grasping Junhoe’s hand and placing it on his inner thigh, letting Junhoe catch his wanton gaze.

“Real subtle, Kim Jiwon.” Junhoe teased, shifting his knees, because trying to fit his lengthy legs between Bobby’s knees was not at all comfortable. He left his hand to rest on Bobby’s thigh, prolonging the wait. Yunhyeong had done very well for himself.

In a span of five years, ’Song’s’ had become a household name selling household items and recently opened their fourth giant supermart in Dongdaemun. There was speculation that one would open soon in Japan; all carrying products that were made domestically. He was currently engaged to a drama actress, whose father was one of the investors in his company and was getting married next month.

“This is from their ‘Romance Is In The Air’ adult series.” Junhoe was reciting it with the exaggerated flair that was completely a copy of Yunhyeong now, as his hand moved down to where Bobby’s arousal was already expecting him. Bobby’s body tensed slightly and then relaxed, breaking into soft laughter. All these years and Junhoe was still adept at imitating them. “This one is the ‘Kama Sutra’, a fusion of exotic spices from the East Indies and floral notes of the passionflower distilled from the Canary Islands.” Junhoe continued his impression of Yunhyeong and Bobby started snorting, reeling his head back with abandoned laughter. “You know Canary Islands, don’t you?” Junhoe batted his lashes and damn, if that did not make Bobby ten times harder.

“What the fuck, stop! I want my Junhoe back!” Bobby begged, voice driven hoarse with all that laughing. As their collective laughter tapered off, Junhoe’s fingers started their familiar journey along his length. Junhoe’s gummy smile was a pleasure to watch. It was adding on to the momentum of his ardent strokes and giving Bobby unbidden images of having those lips somewhere else other than his mouth.

“You are looking at Song’s new model right here.” Junhoe whispered huskily, his heavily lidded gaze driving Bobby crazy. Bobby caught him by the hair and pulled him in for a completely ungoverned kiss. Junhoe moaned at this sudden onslaught, but knew better than to resist. Bobby losing control is Bobby in his element and it was something Junhoe definitely learned from experience.

“So, you HAVE been busy…” Bobby trailed off when they parted, arms encircling Junhoe, pulling him closer. The friction between Junhoe’s fingers, his heightened state of arousal and the water acting as an emollient to all his desires was culminating into a dream wrapped in silk. “Yes…faster, please, faster, _jagiya_. Junhoe, fuck, you got me, yes, yes, yes!” Bobby whispered continuously, resting his head against Junhoe’s shoulders. Junhoe, not losing momentum at all, finished it spectacularly, Bobby’s warm release greeting his hand under the water. Junhoe bit his lips, resting his head on Bobby’s knee once more, feeling absolutely accomplished. Bobby remained quiet, breathing hard beside him. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too. Don’t get sappy with me now, Bobby.” Junhoe chided, standing up and out of the tub. “Come on, love, Water’s getting cold. Let’s just rinse off at the shower and get to bed.” Junhoe urged, holding out his hand to Bobby. Bobby grabbed his hand and stood up. Junhoe drained the tub and activated the spray that would give it a thorough cleansing. Bobby was already scrubbing shampoo into his hair when Junhoe walked into the shower.

 

**~~~~~**

 

Bobby’s cellphone was buzzing on the night stand when they emerged from the bathroom. It was quarter past three. Junhoe gazed at him expectantly.

“It’s Hanbin.” Bobby said, looking at the screen and Junhoe nodded, looking a little surprised, clearing the empty bag of chips and beer can from the bedside table, chucking them into the wastepaper basket near the bathroom door. Bobby answered the phone, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Ya~don’t you know what is sleep?” Bobby answered, standing up hastily when Junhoe pulled the covers to give it a good shake. “At home. He’s awake, too. Wassup, man?” Bobby asked and then he was quiet, just listening. “Ok man, sure. Sure. I’ll be in Ibiza by end of this month, but if you are coming down for Yunhyeong’s wedding, I should be back by then so we could meet up. You know the house is always open to you, too.” Bobby added as Junhoe started picking up the dirty clothes and threw them into the laundry hamper. “Alright man. See you soon.” Bobby inserted his cell to the self-charging machine and sat on the bed, feeling the tiredness finally catching up to him.

“Lay back, love. I’m turning off the lights.” Junhoe urged, tucking in the covers almost by instinct as Bobby swung his legs up and settled completely against the pillows.

“Hanbin’s coming back in two months’.” Bobby said, yawning and stretching against the sheets. He laid back down, turning to face Junhoe who was still sitting up, scrolling through his phone, probably to check or free up his schedule in February in anticipation of Hanbin’s return. Despite the mutual disbandment, some things really never change at all. Hanbin remained everyone’s leader. Bobby patted his thigh in reassurance.

“Just in time for Yunhyeong's wedding. He’s good?” Junhoe asked, still scrolling. Bobby nodded.

Two years ago, when news of his divorce became the fodder of reporters in the country, Hanbin became some sort of a recluse. He travelled the world, climbed mountains and completely stopped writing songs. His marriage had turned ugly pretty quick, because everyone knew that Hanbin was more married to his work than his own wife. It did not help that the ex had been a media hungry former model with a penchant for drugs and other men. Hanbin chose the worst possible person to both marry and leave. She slandered his name publicly in the press, even dragging his family into it. It was a nightmare, even for the members, because attention were suddenly diverted to them. It was not the first time scandal had plagued them.

Since Hanbin was not around to defend himself, the members rallied around each other and did their best. They avoided any mention of Hanbin and if any reporters asked, they just stated that they had no comments upon the matter. When the divorce finally pulled through, she took half of almost all that he was worth and it was definitely good riddance, even if it had cost that much.

Bobby remember how Junhoe had cried for Hanbin and being thankful that no children were involved. Hanbin being Hanbin, of course, did not speak of the matter to anyone. He only spoke to Bobby for matters pertaining to the studio they owned together, other than that he barely shared issues that were personal.

“He’s fine. He’s in Kathmandu, he just finished a forty-day trek in the Andes.” Bobby assured him. Junhoe smiled faintly, putting away his phone. He turned off the lights and then settled back behind the covers. Bobby held up his hand and Junhoe grasped it tightly, letting his tapered fingers comb Bobby’s slightly bony ones gently. “He plans to come back and write again.”

“ _Jjeongmal_?” Junhoe asked, his voice sounding a bit surprised.”That would be good.” Junhoe added, turning to face Bobby, who was starting to drift off.

“I think I should sent the kids to school later.” Bobby was muttering, his voice raspy and almost dreamy now.

“They’ll be fine. My mum is coming to pick them up and send them. You get enough sleep.” Junhoe insisted. “It’s almost close to four.”

“Does this mean we are canceling Friday night for good?” Bobby teased. Junhoe laughed softly, getting sleepy himself, but liking the way Bobby was smiling. Bobby in this state was someone who needed his protection and deservedly so.

“I believe your exact words were ‘Fuck Friday Night’, sir.” Junhoe stated solemnly as Bobby pecked his forehead gently.

“I think I’ll fetch them from school later.” Bobby said after a few silent moments, “I miss spending time with them.” He admitted and Junhoe kissed his hand in appreciation.

“Text me if you do. If I’m done with the SBS thing, maybe we can meet up with Jinan and Donghyuk for lunch, if they are free.” Junhoe added. “Now go to sleep, love.”

“ _Arasseo_.” Bobby answered kissing Junhoe’s forehead again. He could do it many more times if he was not so tired, but just lying here, together made him feel utterly contented. 

 


	2. Confessional Mondays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin returns and the house is abuzz with his presence. While both Junhoe and Bobby welcome his appearance, the fact that he is drinking a lot bothers Junhoe who questions his real intentions. Bobby, who thinks Hanbin returned for Yunhyeong's wedding was in for a rude awakening. Mondays can so weird.

Junhoe placed the paper bags on the kitchen counter as the nanny trooped the kids to the bathroom after school. He surmised the kitchen area. It was not messy, but it was not the normal tidiness he was accustomed to either.

An empty pack of tonic drink lay forgotten on the marbled counter. The small bin for dry rubbish by the sink was stuffed with broken eggshells and a few packets of emptied out _ramyun_. The cooking pot lay asunder on the rack instead of being hung at its place and he was also willing to bet that there were a few bottles of whisky or wine stuffed into the liquor trash basket hidden in the cupboard underneath the sink. He was certain about the liquor, because he took some of them out last night to commemorate Hanbin’s return. As he cleared this little mess up, a faint smile played on his lips realising that once, a long time ago, he would have been the culprit, who had left a trail blaze of mess in the kitchen and everyone would complain about it.

“Is that smile for me?” Bobby broke into his reverie, his raspy voice filling the kitchen. Junhoe’s startled gaze found him, sidled against the kitchen entryway, leaning against the doorframe in nothing but his faded boxers. Junhoe made a mental note to get him a few new ones. He still looked sleepy, but there was a wondrous smile on his lips, his bunny teeth adding that much needed spark to an already brilliantine curve. He had just flown back from Brazil the week before and then Hanbin had arrived about four days ago so it had been a hectic week where they barely had time, even for each other.

“You finally woke up.” Junhoe declared pointedly, keeping himself busy, putting away the frozen stuff he had managed to buy on the way to picking up the kids from school. “What time did the both of you sleep last night?” He asked, stocking up the half empty freezer with tiger shrimps and minced meat for tomorrow’s dinner. Bobby groaned, lacing his fingers together and stretching his arms upwards, before breaking into a loud yawn. He padded in, pulling Junhoe by the hem of his shirt, pouting his lips for a kiss. Junhoe had to place the halved watermelon he had purchased in between them to stop him. “Stop that. We have guests.”

“Guest. And he’s not going to come into the kitchen anytime soon. He’s in the garden, meditating.” Bobby declared, taking the melon and placing it on the counter. Junhoe was flashing that gummy smile as Bobby laid his lips heavily against it. Bobby cupped his hand against the back of Junhoe’s head, loving the texture of Junhoe’s hair, silky and fine in his fingers. He moaned, when he felt Junhoe’s arousal against his groin.

“It’s been awhile since we did it in the kitchen.” Bobby whispered, when he released Junhoe.

“I’m not sure if that is a good idea.” Junhoe rasped, his breath warm against Bobby’s neck. “First of all, the kids are home, we have a guest and it’s not Friday. It’s not even night time, Jiwonnie-ya.” Junhoe teased. Bobby groaned.

It was always Bobby at home. Jiwon was for special occasions and Jiwonnie-ya, well, Jiwonnie-ya was definitely Bobby’s kryptonite. 

“Do you want me to take you here? _Jjinja_?” Bobby declared in disbelief, feeling absolutely challenged and Junhoe tried holding back his laugh, slapping Bobby’s shoulders. “ _Jagiyaaa_ …” Bobby begged.

“No, love.” Junhoe insisted, continuing to put away the rest of the stuff. Bobby grabbed him by the waist and bent him over the counter, pinning Junhoe from the back and allowing him to completely feel the bulge that had grown into his boxers. 

“You are extremely mean to me.”Bobby moaned. Junhoe’s laughter reverberated in the kitchen, resonating and echoing like the sunshine that was filtering in through the window.

“I’m not, Bobby. Really, someone could just walk in on us right now and I swear to God it better not be the kids.” Junhoe stated, not really putting up a fight, but sounding pretty serious. Bobby fell heavily behind him, giving up immediately. Junhoe moved up slowly, bringing Bobby along with him and turned to face him, arms going around Bobby’s shoulder proprietarily. “You know, I love you, right? What you need to do is go back to bed and get some sleep. I’ll fix lunch and if we have time for something a little more than a cuddle before you go, I’ll gladly give it to you.” Junhoe promised, planting a kiss on Bobby’s cheek.

“Promise?” He asked, his eyes filled with hope, love and all the things he promised he would constantly shower Junhoe with when Junhoe finally said yes to him.

“Promise.” Junhoe had stopped laughing now. Fingers tracing Bobby’s cheeks and caressing the fine hairs already growing under his chin. “I would never deprive you of me, love.” He added, gazing into Bobby’s eyes with equal candour. Love was the best. Love meant Bobby was the happiness in Junhoe’s smile.

Bobby ran his hand over that exquisite face and nodded sleepily, feeling contented then padded out of the kitchen, scratching his butt. Junhoe shook his head, smiling widely.

He was practically singing when Hanbin walked into the kitchen ten minutes later.

“Your voice is still good, Junhoe-ya.” Hanbin commented in that quiet way of his as he closed the back door leading in from the garden. Junhoe glanced up in surprise. 

“I’m out of practice, actually. Are you done with your meditations already?” Junhoe commented, laying out plates for the lunch he was about to prepare. “I’m amazed you could get up so early. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much!” Junhoe remarked.

“I’ve picked up a few habits in my travels. Among them, an appreciation for liquor and gumption.” Hanbin intoned in a teasing manner.

“Gumption?” Junhoe questioned, eyeing him from the side, his smile faltering a little. “Is that the reason for your return? Gumption?”

“Well there are some unfinished matters to attend to, for sure and I think I am finally ready to face them.” Hanbin quipped without elaboration. Junhoe was not used to this Hanbin. Full of secrets and unspoken thoughts. “What are you doing?” Hanbin asked, smoothly redirecting focus to the task Junhoe was currently executing at hand.

“Lunch should be ready in about fifteen minutes.” Junhoe announced with flair, putting on and tying the strings of his apron with a nimbleness borne only from experience. He did not see the look of surprise on Hanbin’s face.

“Lunch.” Hanbin whispered under his breath. “So the rumours are true. Koo Junhoe has been domesticated.” Hanbin exhaled.

“Thoroughly. And absolutely loving it. Don’t tell anyone though.” Junhoe laughed, chopping onions, as if he had not teared over it a long time ago.

“It’s great to be married to the one you love isn’t it?” Hanbin sighed and sat heavily on the stool by the counter, watching him with a smile on his face. He looked the same as he did all those years ago, just more crow’s feet perhaps at the edge of his eyes and just that tiny, little worry line over his forehead that was barely there. Junhoe noticed it when they were drinking last night.

“You were married once. You must know how it felt.” The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about it. He had the fridge door opened then, but he remained standing there rooted to the spot silently, biting his lips in regret.

“I am glad to know that some parts of you has not changed at all.” Hanbin replied in the quiet that followed his brazen statement. Junhoe closed his eyes, realising that he probably looked ridiculous holding the minced chicken in his hand.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered as he brought the meat back to the kitchen counter. He glanced at Hanbin, who still had that beatific smile on his lips as if Junhoe had just remarked on how fine the weather was instead of touching on a very sensitive, secretive issue.

“Don’t be. If you must know, it was a mistake from the get-go. I don’t even know why I stayed so long. You know how I used to write all those heartbreak songs? I couldn’t relate to any of it, at all. The realization was inhumane. It almost drove me nuts. I could have allowed for anything, but to be driven crazy that way.” Hanbin admitted. Junhoe walked back to the fridge, grabbing a jug of orange juice. He brought it out, got two tall glasses and filled it with the juice. He passed one to Hanbin, knowing that this was more than Hanbin would have wanted him to know and for Hanbin to bare it all, choked a part of him. 

“Well, you can always try again.” Junhoe stated, sipping the juice. He began cubing the capsicum; yellow, because ‘it’s Batman’s colour’ Dongie’s tiny voice played in his head.

“I am hoping for such a positive outcome in the future.” Hanbin stated in a cryptic manner that was hard to dismiss. Before Junhoe could ask what he meant by that, Hanbin had shot him another question. “What made you say yes to Jiwon, anyway?” Junhoe paused, as if in consideration, his gaze turning soft as he began heating up the pan. 

“It was the sum of many things.” Junhoe tried to gather his thoughts, wanting to explain it in words.

“You never wrote a poem about it?” Hanbin questioned. It was a joke, of course. Junhoe became an accomplished poet after iKON’s official disbandment, publishing almost close to ten books, all making it to the top ten, if not the top itself of the bestseller’s lists.

“I wrote a shit-tonne of them, nothing could ever come close to actually describing how I feel about him.” Junhoe admitted. Hanbin never imagined a day would ever come that he would ever hear Junhoe declare his love for Bobby with such fervour. The silence was broken when Dongie walked in crying. Hanbin held his arms out for the little boy, who sniffled at first. He had just met Hanbin, four days ago. He accepted it on the basis that his Papa had told him that Hanbin _Samcheon_ had been both his Papa’s and Daddy’s best friend. That, and also because his Papa has always told him never to come around the kitchen counter when he was cooking. “What did Nani do this time?” Junhoe asked, stirring the meat and the sauce into the pan without looking up.

In the sunshine, with his cobalt blue linen apron tied against his well-formed body, he had barely aged. He looked as if time did nothing, but only allowed him to come into his own. Hanbin would never thought that someday he would envy Bobby, but this morning, he did.

“He took my Batmobile!” Dongie wailed, although it was half-hearted now. From where Hanbin had sat him on the counter, he was already watching his father cook, completely fascinated. “Is that _Paghetti Bolnaise_?” He asked.

“ _Spaghetti Bolognaise_ , dork.” Nani walked in, climbing straight up the bar stool. Hanbin had only seen him a few times, when he was but a crawling baby, before the divorce had blew up on his face and became a matter of national interest. To see him now; with personality, behaving like a little grown-up was almost surreal.

“Kim Jinhwan.” Junhoe warned, not batting an eye or even glancing up. It was also weird hearing another member’s name being spoken to with such parental authority, but there it was. Bobby and Junhoe had christened both their boys with the names of two members and it sounded almost right to his ears.

“Sorry, Papa.” Nani whispered, eyes downcast. 

“Not to me, squirt.” Junhoe added deftly, as if he had been a parent for as long as he had been an entertainer.

“Sorry, Donggu.” Nani whispered. Dongie dismissed the apology, already forgetting why he had been upset in the first place. He was fiddling with the necklace on Hanbin’s neck now.

“What is this, _Samcheon_?” The little one asked. It was easy to see where he got his features from. The mischievous sparkle in his eyes, that wonderful smile that was a healthy amount of equal parts gum and even teeth, and the cherubic cheeks were all undoubtedly carbon copies of Junhoe.

“That’s a tourmaline. Someone I love gave it to me.” Hanbin answered in a dreamy gaze, patting the curls that adorn Dongie’s head in an adorable mess. The curls were another thing altogether. They were natural and Junhoe had said he probably got it from Bobby’s side of the family.

“Boys don’t wear pink.” Nani interjected, standing on the stool trying to get a better look. Hanbin put an arm around Nani to ensure he did not fall.

“Daddy says boys can wear any colour, even pink.” Dongie declared, touching the stone gently. “Right, Papa?” He added, gazing up to find his Papa’s face.

“You know Daddy always speak the truth.” Junhoe affirmed, as he began draining the pasta from the boiling water.

“I’m hungry!” Nani began to clamour. He was definitely like Bobby; impatient, affectionate and absolutely demanding. Hanbin’s eyes widen in amusement when he began picking up the spoon and banging it against the plate. Dongie followed suit and the kitchen began to be filled with the sounds of noisy, hungry children. Junhoe began spooning the sauce, looking slightly harried. He caught Hanbin’s amused gaze and smiled warmly. Hanbin tilted his head, drawing a smile that Junhoe had not seen for years since their disbandment, the one all filled with some half-cooked mischief. Hanbin picked up the spoon and began banging against his plate much to Junhoe’s amusement.

“YA~!” Bobby’s growl filled the kitchen, silencing the noisemakers. “Are we raising wild puppies here?” He asked. Hanbin bit his lips, looking regretful, as his other two minions, giggled at Bobby’s attempt to sound angry.

“These three are bullying me.” Junhoe stated, not even whining as he added the finishing touch to the food he has scooped into the large serving dish. “But only because they are hungry. Why are you still up?” Junhoe asked, grating a brick of _parmigiano_ over their food. Bobby loomed behind him, leaning sideways so that his finger could dip into the pot of warm tomato sauce, letting Junhoe feel the warmth of his bare body, already calling out for attention.

“You promised me.” Bobby whispered in reminder.

“I told you I will come bearing lunch, among other things.” Junhoe whispered, pushing him away gently and pointedly nodding in Hanbin’s direction.  He was kept busy scooping the pasta for the two boys. “Say your prayers before you eat, squirts.” Junhoe added. They did. Even Hanbin rested his forehead against his fists in silence. Bobby hung an arm around Junhoe, both of them gazing proudly at their sons and their leader. 

“Maybe we should have another one. A daughter. “ Bobby’s breath warmed his ear. Junhoe barked a laugh. The sound filled the kitchen; deep, sonorous and bursting with joy.

“Bring Hanbin with you to work later.” Junhoe whispered in return. He closed his eye, mouthing a prayer and began feeding Bobby the pasta. Bobby gazed at him in puzzlement. “He needs to be out, to socialise.” Junhoe added.

“Do you want me to bring him to the whorehouse after?” Bobby asked, an incredulous look passing over his winsome face.

“Just to the club, you asshat.” Junhoe punched him lightly on the chest, feeding him another spoonful of food. “Nice?” Junhoe asked, bright eyes gazing at him sharply.

“Delicious, as usual.” Bobby chewed appreciatively, eyes never leaving that wonderful visage, carved with all his hopes and dreams. “I’m still hungry.” He added, pulling Junhoe closer to him, pecking him slightly in one cheek. “Hanbinnie, you want to come with me to work today? Spin a few grooves?” He asked, gazing up and above Junhoe’s shoulder, his hand was busy palming Junhoe’s groin. Hanbin was feeding Dongie, smiling the way he did when they were still whole as a group. Hanbin looked up, eyes ablaze with joy Bobby had not seen since his return.

“Sure. I don’t mind.” Hanbin said. “When are we having that dinner with Yunhyeong again?”

“That’s tomorrow night.” Junhoe sighed, he had not turned to face Hanbin and the children. “I’m just going to take a shower now. All that cooking…” He tapered off in mid-sentence and then walked out of the kitchen without any other word. The effervescent smile on Bobby’s face was a wonder to gaze at. Bobby turned to watch Junhoe go. He turned away as well, so Hanbin will not see the bump in his boxers. He leaned against the counter trying to finish the remainder of the delicious lunch Junhoe had made.

“ _Ga-ja._ ” Hanbin whispered. Bobby glanced back, the smile had turned rueful and questioning. “I’ll look after the little ones. Don’t keep him waiting.” Hanbin said, turning his gaze back on the children he would have proudly called his own.

 

~~~~~

 

Bobby returned to the bedroom in time as Junhoe dispensed with the last of his clothes.

“ _Jagiya_.” Bobby whispered, slipping out of his boxers and launching himself against Junhoe’s sturdy build. They both fell into the bed in a frenzy of kisses and a tangle of legs. “You’ve deprived me long enough.” Bobby urged, stretching out Junhoe’s hands above the pillows, pinning them down with his own, raining down kisses against the ivory smoothness of Junhoe’s neck.

“I never have…Jiwonnie-ya.” Junhoe whispered raspily, “That was the r-r-reason for Friday nights, was…it…not?” Junhoe panted, fingers raking through Bobby’s curls in ecstasy.

“Friday nights are for cocksuckers.” Bobby muttered breathlessly, his tongue swirling against one of Junhoe’s nipples. Junhoe groaned loudly, pushing Bobby’s head further into his chest. “And I want to suck yours everyday, _jagiya_.”

“You…you…said you did not wish to…tire me.” Junhoe groaned even as Bobby’s tender mouth found anchor around the tip of his already glistening glory. “Jiwonnie-ah…” Junhoe arched his back as Bobby’s mouth began its bid upon him with a reckless sort of impatience Junhoe had last seen before they had Nani. Like a man possessed, Bobby gripped both of Junhoe’s butt cheeks in his hands and pushed him further into his mouth, suckling and gagging, even as Junhoe tried holding in the screams of pleasure that threatened to escape his lips. He writhed underneath Bobby, his carven face set in a rictus of pleasure fused with pain. His hands now forged against the back of Bobby’s head tugging him further to the hilt of his raging orgasm. With eager anticipation, Bobby released him quite suddenly, spitting into one hand and replacing the silk of his mouth with his palm.

“Come into my hand and say you love me.” He commanded, gazing down at the sharpened jawline of a head thrown back into the pillows from sheer release as Junhoe muttered a litany of words that poured like honey into Bobby’s ears, professing love excessively in a ragged whisper. “ _Jagiya_ … “ Bobby drawled and with the warmth of Junhoe’s release still in his hand, began stroking himself.

“Stop.” Junhoe sighed, gazing at him from the pillow, a smile plastered on his lips, reddened and slightly swollen from Bobby’s overzealous attention when they began.

“Stop?” Bobby’s eyes narrowed in disbelief. The ten years together have only made him stronger, virile and happier. Junhoe’s heart overflowed with happiness that was both encompassing and at times, scary.

“Yes. Because that is my job.” Junhoe countered, sitting up with Bobby still straddled on his waist, folding over the slick of Bobby’s hand with his. Bobby gazed down in fascination, moaning softly as Junhoe’s hand gloved around his erection. “Tell me, what do you want, Jiwonnie-ya?” He urged, stroking Bobby, gently but firmly.

“You are teasing me again.” Bobby remarked, holding on vainly to what little he had in self-control. He poised the tip of his desire against Junhoe’s opening with care that was deeply appreciated. Junhoe looked up, admiring the man he had given his heart to slightly more than ten years ago. The one he decided to build a life with.

The angular jaw, the straight bridge of his nose, those mere slits of his eyes that held the sparkle of galaxies in them; Bobby probably deserved better and Junhoe considered himself extremely lucky, a thought which Bobby returned towards him with undeniable certainty. It was amazing what love without fear had given them.

Almost without thought and a lifetime of love, he pulled Bobby right into him. “Fuck it, Junhoe, you’re going - to hurt - your..seeeelf.” Bobby moaned loudly as he was pushed in unceremoniously.

“You did always say…pain first before…pleasure, Jiwonnie.” Junhoe invoked, panting breathlessly, holding onto Bobby’s arms as Bobby began thrusting into him, burying himself deeply into Junhoe, close to the hilt. Junhoe rested back, arching to allow more space and Bobby’s mouth broke into a string of curses as he rocked himself towards the crescendo of his need. With a muffled shout, Bobby crashed atop Junhoe, utterly spent and satiated, breathing against Junhoe’s neck.

The silence, broken only by their belaboured breathing, was comforting.

“That was awfully stimulating.” Bobby whispered as their collective breaths returned to normal. Junhoe chuckled, still panting beneath him.

“It was, wasn’t it? I guess breaking the Friday night rule has its blessings.” Junhoe commented, fingers circling Bobby’s curls. “Are you going to keep your hair like this?” He added.

“Don’t you like it?” Bobby asked, coming up to gaze closely at Junhoe. The afterglow of lovemaking sat lovely on that wondrous face.

“I love it.” Junhoe admitted, grazing his mouth against those lips. “Ask him tonight.” Junhoe said, out of the blue. A questioning look passed over Bobby’s face and he searched for Junhoe’s very carefully. The crease on his forehead was alarming to look at. The last time he saw Junhoe this worried was when the surrogate had been in her third trimester with Nani and had begun vomiting on a daily basis.

“Ask who, what?” Bobby blinked.

“Hanbin.” Junhoe intoned not really looking at Bobby right now but through him, almost as if he was caught in a dream. “Ask him why he came back.” He added in case Bobby wondered what he meant, and Bobby did.

“He came back for Yunhyeong’s wedding.” Bobby declared, almost dismissively as if Hanbin was that transparent. Junhoe loved Bobby for many things and he especially loved Bobby for how innocent he is when it came to everyone’s intentions. He never second guessed, simply because he was incapable of doing so.

Junhoe wished he could have preserved that kind of innocence, especially when they had made their relationship public and had been bombarded with so much hate. It got to the point that they had to migrate to Canada in the early days of their courtship due to public pressure. Even their families were not spared and Junhoe had questioned even being with him at one point in their relationship. The journey had definitely not been easy, but Bobby’s good nature and the belief that everyone has goodness in them made it bearable. Most days, anyway.

“If you really think that.“ Junhoe stated and then insisted, “Still. Just ask him. Now, get off me. Nani’s piano class is in an hours’ time.” He rebuked jokingly, slapping Bobby’s butt.

“ _Aniya…_ ” Bobby groaned like a petulant child. “Just stay like this. A little while longer.” Bobby begged, shaking his whole body on top of Junhoe.

“Alright. Five minutes and then we have to move.” Junhoe caved in, arms going around Bobby’s muscular back proprietarily. “I love you, Bobby.” He whispered, closing his eyes.

“I love you, too, _jagiya._ I love you.” Bobby whispered right back, wallowing in the happiness.

 

~~~~~

 

As usual, Bobby got the crowd eating out of his hand by the time he started on his second set. Lights thrummed across the floor and bodies swayed in unison. Hanbin watched Bobby at work behind the booth; sweaty despite the a/c, grinning, headphone hanging off one ear and body swerving left to right. He smiled. There was a time when seeing Bobby in his element gave him so much joy but now it only filled him with a faint tinge of desolation he could not fathom. He had been feeling that a lot lately despite all his meditations and he was, to put it plainly, was simply at a loss in what to do.

Bobby had a break after the fourth set and they both went straight to the private suite they reserved for Bobby to use.The seats were cushioned with Italian leatherand when they entered, there was already a bottle of complimentary champagne and chilled flute glasses served on a tray.

“You hungry?” Bobby asked. Hanbin shook his head. Junhoe had made early dinner of _kimchi jigae_ and Hanbin had it with two bowls of rice. It was the most hearty meal he had since his return to Korea.

“Do they always provide you with such great service?” Hanbin remarked, impressed by the buffet spread at the side table. There were two trays, one filled with fried spring rolls and dumplings, the other with slices of watermelon and honeydew.

“I think it’s because they knew you were coming.” Bobby explained. “Normally I just get beer. And probably a sandwich if I’m hungry.” Hanbin’s brows hitched upwards in disbelief. “Your reputation as a producer still holds some sway over the industry, you know?” Bobby intoned, grabbing the towel draped over the sofa and settling down to wipe the sweat he was drenched in.

“Should I open it?” Hanbin contemplated, a small smile playing on his lips as he held the bottle by the neck.

“After the amount of liquor you had yesterday!? You shouldn't even have to ask! I’m amazed at how much you can take now.” Bobby exclaimed.” It reminded me of Junhoe back when we were still active!” He added, running the towel over his head.

“Junhoe has managed his very well.” Hanbin commented, opening the bottle with nary a restraint. “He barely went beyond two glasses of whisky yesterday.”

“After the kids? He did.” Bobby said and Hanbin nodded, quietly amazed by the major changes he has seen in Junhoe. “He’s great, isn’t he?” Bobby surmised, gazing at Hanbin’s face, quietly reading thoughts. Hanbin poured the champagne, smiling in agreement.

“He is.” He admitted and in the depth of those two words, Bobby detected a hint of envy and recalled what Junhoe had requested from him just this afternoon.

“Why did you come back, Hanbin-ah?” Bobby inquired, suddenly curious, shaking his head when Hanbin offered to pour him the champagne. Hanbin sipped on his drink, looking nonplussed.

“For Yunhyeong’s wedding, of course.” He answered, matter-of-fact. Except Bobby saw his lids flicker slightly, his normally bright eyes clouded with transient uncertainty.

 

~~~~~

 

_“You and Hanbin? You guys are true soulmates. Musically.” Junhoe remarked once a long time ago, while Bobby was still trying to get him to agree to his proposal of marriage for the nth time. “I should not be jealous of such trivial matters. And that, is definitely not the reason why I won’t say yes to you.” Bobby frustrated beyond measure, had claimed that it was because Junhoe was jealous of him and Hanbin._

_“Don’t lie!” Bobby had raised his voice in one of those rare moments when his emotions got the better of him._

_“Bobby…” Junhoe tried to reason. True, he was definitely a tiny bit jealous when Double B Studios opened its doors. Yet, he had been one of its prominent solo acts, releasing albums successfully with songs Hanbin had written for him. Plus, he got to work with Bobby as well. Emotionally though, he was simply not quite ready to commit to Bobby. Bobby was not listening though, just conjuring up any reason for Junhoe’s negative answers to his incessant proposals. “Jiwonnie…” Junhoe held Bobby’s face between his hands. He already had everything carved into his mind, but there was always something to add. Today, it was the set of his hardened jawline. Of course, Junhoe had seen it countless times, but not when he was this angry. “Be glad in the knowledge that someday, the answer will be a yes. Is that enough to placate you?” Junhoe teased with a smile, the gummy one that drove Bobby wild. It did placate Bobby, though._

_Hanbin getting married had been a surprise for them. He had a secret relationship for sure and all the members were very much aware that it was definitely not the woman he married to at the altar._

_“Why are you so suspicious?” Bobby had asked Junhoe in the days after the wedding. Junhoe had been going on and on about how everything had been a farce._

_“Because it is not like Hanbin to get married so suddenly and without giving us an inkling that he was even in a relationship?” Junhoe whispered fiercely as he was putting their infant son to sleep. Dongie had not been a difficult baby, but he would wake up to the slightest sound. “I’m telling you now, it’s not going to last. Mark my words, that woman is nothing but trouble for Hanbinnie.” Junhoe had added with almost clairvoyant clarity._

_“It’s not for us to say, jagiya.” Bobby had comforted, very much aware of how upset Junhoe was. He took Dongie from Junhoe’s arms, settling the child into the cot to sleep._

_“Why not? If you see your own brother running towards the cliff to jump, would you just sit still and allow it to happen?” Junhoe was mouthing now, trying to be silent, an effort that obviously failed. Junhoe could be very loud, even if it was not his intention to be. Dongie started crying and Bobby rocked the cot, shushing both baby and partner._

_“Junhoe-ya, it is said and done. We cannot stop anything now.” Bobby uttered as Dongie settled back to sleep._

_Bobby had arrived to the studios early the next day, hoping to catch Hanbin before he flew off for his honeymoon and had only encountered Yunhyeong leaving the office in a hurried manner. It was the first time Bobby had ever seen his face set in such a brusque countenance he had never seen. Yunhyeong, who saw silver linings even in the darkest clouds, looked as if he finally found one that had none._

_“Hyeongie!” Bobby called out cheerfully. It was a rare sight to see him here. After iKON, Yunhyeong moved on to bigger, better things in life. Acting, musicals and even a stint in Broadway, Yunhyeong had been one the first few Koreans headlining marquees before retiring and setting up his own business ventures. Yunhyeong did not answer him this time, just a brittle smile that was put-on and completely unlike him before he exited with a dramatic flair. Come to think of it, the only times he had seen Yunhyeong was almost always whenever Hanbin was around in the studios._

 

_~~~~~~_

 

Bobby jolted from this sudden recollection. His eyes widened as it dawned upon him that perhaps, Junhoe’s instincts were not far from being right.

“Fuck it, Kim Hanbin, why are you really here?” Bobby asked now, towel and sweat forgotten, eyes searching that porcelain face that had barely aged. The mountain air did well for him, physically but apparently not so much for his mind. Hanbin drained the champagne with a tenacity which caught Bobby by surprise.

“You figured it out, already?” Hanbin surmised and nodded,” It took you long enough to do it, Kim Jiwon.”

“You never said anything!” Bobby gasped. A realization. No, far from that. It was a fucking revelation and Bobby placed the towel over his mouth, trying to muffle the sound that might be coming out from his mouth, but there were really none.

“Did I have to?” Hanbin remarked coolly, as if the idea of him and Yunhyeong sounded like a possibility rather than an improbable one.

“I’m your bestfriend!” Bobby cried out, looking almost offended.

“And you were busy living your happy life. Where does mine have any bearing on that scheme of things, huh?” Hanbin intoned. Bobby leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, fingers steepled to cover half of his face, trying to wash this piece of news into his every being. Absorbing, and failing badly.

“When?” Bobby asked, voice raised in incredulity. “How long?” Hanbin was pouring himself another glass of the champagne, admiring the golden colour and the bubbles that rose to the top, very much like the secrets he had kept so well hidden all these years.

“Almost as long as you and Junhoe, actually. We were…to put it into words, on and off?” Hanbin contended in resignation. “Yunhyeong was absolutely committed to making it work.” He continued, drinking that wine as if he was chugging water. “I, on the other hand…was a fucking coward.”

“You and Yunhyeong?” Bobby seem to be having trouble accepting the fact, rubbing his hands over his face, vainly trying to absorb the fact that they had a clandestine affair right under the member’s noses, even while he and Junhoe contemplated making their relationship public.

“Yes, we were in love. Well, I still do love him and I am pretty sure he does too.” Hanbin revealed what Bobby now feared. 

“Fuck it Bin-ah, you don’t know that.” Bobby muttered, trying to think how he was going to break this to Junhoe without him losing his shit.

“I know him the way I know my heart. He’s doing this for the business. Yunhyeong would.” Hanbin declared almost in defiance. He was really emptying that bottle fast and Bobby had three more sets to go before he was done.

“You should have held on to him instead of getting married to…someone else.” Bobby snapped back, belatedly realising what his statement would be tantamount to.

“Gee, thanks. Junhoe made that clear to me as well, this very morning infact, with equal amounts of ruthlessness.” Hanbin replied, gaze turning glittery in Bobby’s direction.

“He’s getting married in two days’ time. What do you think you can achieve till then? And what if he loves her? You should not have let him go so easily!” Bobby was on a roll. It made him slur his words a lot and Hanbin wondered if he was drunk even if he had not been imbibing the champagne.

“Not everyone have balls of steel like you Kim Bobby.” Hanbin reiterated, draining the bottle empty. 

“I had a hard time convincing Junhoe, but I kept at it.” Bobby argued, completely blown into the reality that Hanbin really meant to try and stop someone from marrying.

“Well, do you want a medal to go with that thought, brave knight?” Hanbin questioned, he was turning red, from the drink and also from the arguing he had not intended to do. “How did you find out about my intentions, anyway? What are you? Some kind of psychic?” He half whined in that defiant tone of his.

“Not me. Junhoe.” Bobby explained. Amusement flooded Hanbin’s eyes.

“Maybe I fell in love with the wrong person?” Hanbin alluded. Bobby threw the towel in his direction and Hanbin deflected it swiftly, smiling in good cheer.

“He would drop me in favour of you at any moment.” Bobby joked with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Musically, maybe. Love wise, you are both meant for each other.” Hanbin muttered reflectively, almost to himself. The smile on Bobby’s lips was rueful and mirrored the obstacles they had been put through to get to where they are now. 

“So, what now?” Bobby summarised, still wondering what Hanbin had up his sleeves.

“Nothing. I just need to talk to him tomorrow night and hopefully, I can stop that wedding from ever happening.” The door opened and one of the ushers signalled the end of Bobby’s break.

“You want to try spin one set with me? I’m pretty sure everyone will be stoked to know that the great B.I. is helming the groove tonight.” Bobby offered. 

“I’ll do it. Only because you got the best of me tonight.” Hanbin succumbed, even though his eyes were already alight with excitement at the prospect of churning some music.

“Junhoe did. You can thank him later.” Bobby replied, walking slowly out and allowing Hanbin to move forward in front of him.

“Why do I feel as if you would be getting all the thanks, though?” Hanbin grinned knowingly, walking slightly unsteadily towards the stage, back to the thrum of the club. Bobby slapped him on the shoulder, already sheathing out his phone to text Junhoe. His brows furrowed slightly in anxiety, hoping that Hanbin’s plan would not backfire on him and that Yunhyeong would not take it as an affront to all the plans he had made. He sent message for Junhoe to pick him up as usual today, adding that he had been right about Hanbin’s return. All hell’s gonna break lose, Bobby thought, and everyone will be around to witness it.

 


	3. Tuesday, Full Of Twists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunhyeong finds solace in the Kim's family home, but the last person he expected to see was Hanbin. Tuesday was definitely shaping up to be a long stroll down memory lane and a revelation that is somehow tied up to Junhoe's & Bobby's story ten years ago. It would completely unravel all the years of pain Yunhyeong has had to endure just by being in love with one very complicated man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains a YunBin smut. Forgive me for the suspect timeline & locations.

He loved coming here. There was something about the whole place that bespoke of warmth and love. A well-lived in place, made merry by the presence of children’s laughter and the pitter patter of tiny feet. The living room was his second favourite place in their stately home. With its comfy couches, the wide, open space boasted a movie sized TV screen framed by shelves of Junhoe’s overgrown collection of DVDs and CDs. Bobby’s vinyl collection for his DJ duties also jostled for space on these shelves, along with his superheroes’ figurines. Some were obviously very rare, considering that they were encased in glass boxes. The shelves, custom painted a pastel purple, were also dotted with the numerous awards both partners had collected over their years of active performances. It loomed to form a wall enclosing the area, lined with shaggy, velvet blue carpeting which made the room extremely cosy and personal.

It was a place where they would obviously converge to spent time together. A stuffed toy snake, a shocking neon pink, peeked from under the rectangular foot stool, which also functions as a storage space for the kids’ toys. A drawer, below the glass-topped coffee table inlaid with glittery, colourful mosaic tiles, which had not been fully pushed all the way; revealed a view of colouring books, markers and a box of Legos. Dongie’s black and yellow Batman bean bag, lay flattened by wear, beside the grey couch thrown with a smatter of plush cushions printed with pop art-inspired prints. Just by the other end of the couch, was a cosmo-themed rug with the solar system embossed into it, obviously belonging to Nani. Yunhyeong definitely loved coming here and Junhoe and Bobby , as well as the kids, always welcomed him with open arms.

“You look like crap.” The stillness was broken by that familiar voice. He had not heard it for almost three years now, but he would recognise it anywhere in the world. Yunhyeong spun quite abruptly in its direction, trying not to look surprise, as Kim Hanbin descended slowly down the stairs, as if he had not disappeared off the face of the earth with little to no news at all. As if Yunhyeong had not been in love with him for more than eleven odd years.

“Speak for yourself, Kim Hanbin. From whose grave did you crawl out from?” Yunhyeong quipped sharply in return. A smile, a rendering akin to the rising sun, appeared on those lips Hanbin longed to kiss once more.

“Probably yours.” Hanbin muttered, stopping short at the bottom of the stairs and trying to drink in all of Yunhyeong with his eyes. He was lying, of course.

Yunhyeong could never pass off as crap, not even if he lived to a hundred years. As a matter of fact, Yunhyeong looked very much the same as he did the night he stormed out of Hanbin’s studio, three years ago. The night Hanbin was about to fly off for his honeymoon. Hanbin had had managed to hurt the one person who truly loved him in the worst possible way, but somehow, Yunhyeong remained looking as good as the day Hanbin remembered him last, probably even better. Yunhyeong had grown out the upper part of his hair, allowing the natural waves to glide smoothly like a crown and in his tailored blouse tucked into his black dress pants, he looked every bit the debonair businessman he had become. Despite the length, he had kept the back trimmed behind his nape, the walnut brown tinges gleaming like copper against the sunlight that had filtered in from the wall windows of the Kim’s family living room. Hanbin made a mental note to commend Junhoe on the natural lighting spaces he has successfully created in his own home. Yunhyeong’s smile barely faltered at this quiet appraisal.

“It’s a wonder I didn’t die waiting for you to come back. I’d probably kicked your ass out of my afterlife too, if I could.” Yunhyeong retaliated, slowly walking towards the display wall at the far end of the room, creating a welcome distance between him and Hanbin as much as he could. He did not trust himself to be so near Hanbin. Not so soon after seeing him.

Hanbin looked as if he had been dragged through hell, if hell turned a handsome man even hotter and more dangerous. His presence as always, was dominating, and even in that spacious living room, Yunhyeong felt as if the world was closing in on him.

Junhoe should have told him, Yunhyeong piqued restlessly to himself, pretending to look closely at the photo of Bobby smearing cake on Junhoe’s face. That had been their wedding in Vancouver. Yunhyeong himself had the cake commissioned. Vanilla with buttercream. He was trying to make himself remember even the most insignificant things, because it would make such a welcome distraction from the knowledge that Hanbin was in the same room with him right now. Not that the wedding was insignificant, of course. He just badly needed a distraction.

It was too late. Hanbin had made his way slowly, stealthily towards Yunhyeong and stood behind him, waiting.

“Well, I’m here now, so you better get to it while you still can.” Hanbin whispered softly. Yunhyeong closed his eyes, pushing the tears away, trying so hard to pull out all the rage he had kept inside him those years Hanbin had gone missing. He thought about the countless empty nights he had forced himself to sleep, tears falling from his eyes like an interminable spell of downpour. The way his throat had choked at the thought that Hanbin might be in pain when the media was after him during the weeks following his infamous divorce from that ungrateful wench. His fury at the thought that Hanbin did not even come looking for him as he went through all of that alone, as if Yunhyeong himself had not been drowning in his own mortal pain, reached its peak. Yunhyeong turned sharply, a hand coming up to slap Hanbin. Hanbin, anticipating almost by reflex more than anything else, was somehow faster and stronger, grabbing Yunhyeong’s wrist, stopping him immediately and stepping forward with alarming speed.

“Fu…” Yunhyeong managed before Hanbin’s lips moored itself on him and Hanbin’s whole body sidled against his quite heavily. Something fell as his body was gently slammed into the wall but he barely had time to register what it was before he succumbed to the weightlessness of the kiss, lost in its contradictory power; soft yet hard, tender yet pressing and powerful yet fragile.

Everything ceased to exist except him, Hanbin and this kiss. Yunhyeong allowed himself this release knowing he was completely helpless in it.

The same way he had felt when Hanbin had pinned him quite suddenly inside the studio when they were deep in the middle of recording, so many years ago. One moment, he was frustrated against Hanbin’s steely determination for him to get that note right and the next, he was backed against the wall, struggling for hold as Hanbin took his lips angrily. It was the beginning of a relationship filled with struggles.

Of secret kisses at the dorm, of Hanbin barging in suddenly into his room, wriggling under the covers, murmuring for kisses and caresses; which Yunhyeong always gladly obliged with unmatched earnestness.

Of nights, sometimes waiting for Hanbin to return from the studios, like some eternal lovestruck idiot.

Hanbin was the storm that appeared quite suddenly over the horizon without warning and no matter how far he steered himself away from him, he could never escape.

_Never._

Every single time Yunhyeong thought he was ready to sail alone, Hanbin would appear, a whirlpool in the middle of a calm ocean, always dragging him in. Over the years, no matter how many times Yunhyeong had steeled himself against him, Hanbin would always prevail. Yunhyeong’s heart had always been his for the taking and he knew that very well. 

Even now, it remained the same. Hanbin taking over like a raging thunderstorm, lips claiming what had been his all along, as if he had not disappeared and left Yunhyeong heartbroken for the longest time. Hanbin released him, breath heavy against Yunhyeong’s finely shaped philtrum, inhaling his scent, realising just how much he had deprived himself of a love that was real all this while. A smile, one of gratitude and love appeared on his lips. To Yunhyeong, the presence of that smile meant something else completely. In his eyes, it only carried that overbearing, overconfident Hanbin, who promised him pleasures and followed it closely with unbearable pain, breaking everything in its wake. Yunhyeong balled his hand into a fist and laid the punch solid against that errant smile.

It was almost fitting that Junhoe and Bobby entered at that very moment with the kids in tow. They had been out at the pool, giving Hanbin time to explain himself to Yunhyeong, only to come in to Yunhyeong punching Hanbin and stalking off angrily.

Junhoe stopped Yunhyeong in his tracks, holding him firmly by the shoulders, with a commiseration that was subtle, yet comforting. It made Yunhyeong cave in and he rested his chest against that strong arm, head bowed down in wretched pain, as he succumbed to the tears he had held back since Junhoe told him over the phone that Hanbin was coming back for his wedding.

Hanbin, who had staggered backwards at Yunhyeong’s sudden attack on him, was swiftly caught by Bobby from behind, even as the two rambunctious toddlers, oblivious to adult matters, began clamouring around Yunhyeong’s legs, seeking his attention.

“Yunhyeong _Samcheon_! Aeroplane!” Dongie was shouting, clinging to Yunhyeong’s right leg while Nani jumped up and down, wanting to be carried. Nani stopped, when he realised that his favourite uncle was not going to be carrying him. Not anytime soon.

“Papa,” Nani whispered, gazing up at Yunhyeong in fascination, “is Yunhyeong _Samcheon_ okay?” Junhoe flashed a glittery, disconcerting smile at Nani, nodding his head in reassurance. When Dongie realises that Yunhyeong was not going to carry him, he shifted his attention to the only other uncle in the room.

“Hanbin _Samcheon_!”He yelled, skipping towards Hanbin, whom Bobby had now led to the couch, before he lost his bearings. His lips had busted open and blood was now seeping between his fingers. Dongie sighted this and stopped, his eyes already widened in excitement at the sight of blood. “Papa, look! Hanbin _Samcheon_ hurt himself!” And then Nani was jogging to where his brother was, staring in fascination.

“It’s blood!” Nani exclaimed, brows furrowed in surprise, even as Dongie echoed him, pointing in Hanbin’s direction. Bobby scratched his head, gazing from Hanbin to Junhoe, not really knowing what to do. Junhoe can sense that Bobby was close to panicking.

“Oh dear, something has fallen down to the floor near the picture wall.” Junhoe gasped. “Can you go see what it is, Nani?” He added, knowing fully well that whatever his brother does, Dongie will surely copy and true enough, both kids were now turning and running towards the picture wall. Junhoe could see Nani pick up a frame. It had probably fallen during whatever scuffle that might have ensued between Hanbin and Yunhyeong, awhile ago.

“It’s your wedding picture, Papa.” Nani was saying, but he was not looking at the picture anymore. Instead, his eyes had caught on something shiny on the floor. Dongie picked the object from the floor. It was a gold chain with a stone pendant in the middle. “What’s that?” They could hear Nani asking.

“It’s Hanbin _Samcheon_ ’s necklace!” Dongie yelled. His eyes had gone wider, the tiny mouth shaped into an O.

“How do you know it’s his?” Nani asked, trying to reach up the wall to hang the picture again but failing. The nail on the wall was way beyond his reach.

“It’s a ’turnalint’. The pink one.” Dongie explained in his rough, raspy voice, drawing sharply from the scattered vocabulary of his three-year old memory. “Hanbin _Samcheon_ said, someone he loves gave it to him.” He declared slowly, holding it up in his pudgy hand, so that the tourmaline pendant glinted a shiny pink when the sunlight caught it. A soft cry emanated from Yunhyeong at the boy’s innocent declaration. The necklace must have gotten snagged in Yunhyeong’s finger when he had retracted his fist and had fallen near the picture frame.

“Boys, I think it’s time you both go upstairs and let Hanna _eonnie_ shower you.” Junhoe said, as the day nanny appeared from the kitchen and nodded his head, signalling for her to take the boys.

“Okay.” Nani said, passing the picture frame to his Daddy and Dongie, handing the necklace over to Hanbin. Nani passed one worried glance to Hanbin and then Yunhyeong before trudging upstairs holding his brother’s hand tightly. “Did you see the blood on _samcheon’s_ mouth?” He was whispering conspiratorially to his brother and Dongie was nodding, his face set so seriously even as one hand came up to touch his lips as if he could feel the pain as well.

“Well, that’s enough drama for today.” Junhoe summarised, holding Yunhyeong tighter by the shoulders, because he seemed to have been greatly affected by Dongie’s words awhile ago. “Bobby, maybe you can take Hanbin to the kitchen? Get an ice pack for that busted lip.” Junhoe suggested and Bobby nodded wordlessly. “Maybe we’ll continue this at the study later after we have changed and refreshed ourselves. I think drinks are in order even though it’s daytime, right, hyung?” He shook Yunhyeong’s shoulders slightly, as if to strengthen whatever resolve the man was lacking and nodded to Bobby to quickly get Hanbin’s lips treated.

Junhoe knew that no one could be blamed for this. Well, it was Hanbin’s fault actually, he thought, but the last thing he wanted was to pick a fight with his leader. How easy it was for him to allow his brain to fall back into the idea that Hanbin is and will always be their leader. What a fine mess this was turning out to be, he wondered restlessly.

 

~~~~~

 

 

_Vancouver, 10 years ago._

 

_Everyone flew in for the wedding. The members, their respective families’ even some dedicated iKONICs, who were currently encamped outside the community building Donghyuk had bought when he first migrated here to start his dance academy. The building had seen better days, but it had been given a coat of paint and for the last three years, both Bobby and Donghyuk had done their best to spruce up whatever lightings and minor repairs it had needed._

_What made it perfect for today was the massive courtyard at the back of the three-storey building. It was perfect to hold a wedding._

_Both the grooms’ respective families made full use of the sprawling outdoor space, transforming it into a floral garden utopia with the help of a wedding planner, a bright, cheerful young woman named Tamara, who happened to be one of Donghyuk’s student. Donghyuk and his family were busy preparing the ballroom on the first floor, while Yunhyeong, who had also brought his family down for the wedding, was in charge of food and drinks._

_Hanbin walked into the ballroom with his mother and sister in tow. Donghyuk sighted him and waved eagerly, climbing down the tall ladder where he had just hung up a trail of dusky purple ribbons arched and pinned with boughs of blue roses._

_“Hanbin-hyung!” His voice resonated shrilly across the ballroom, already marked with ten round tables draped with dusky purple, lacy tablecloth._

_Each table had a piping vase filled with three stalks of sky blue roses and a spray of baby’s breath for its centrepiece. Yunhyeong’s parents were busy setting up the buffet table by the side of the ball room, but now stopped what they were doing and began walking to the centre to greet Hanbin and his family. Hanbin flashed a brilliant smile and a wave at Yunhyeong’s mum, even as Donghyuk pulled him in for an embrace. Donghyuk seem to have remained the same since Hanbin last saw him, when they held a farewell dinner for him before he migrated some four years ago, except he had his hair cropped and coloured an ashy gray. Donghyuk released him and bowed to Hanbin’s family._

_“Yunhyeong here?” Hanbin asked as everyone came over to greet Hanbin’s family. Donghyuk nodded towards the far end of the ballroom._

_“He’s in the makeshift kitchen behind that door. Don’t you want to go meet Bobby-hyung and Junhoe first?” Donghyuk asked, looking puzzled._

_“I’ll find them later.” Hanbin dismissed, greeting Donghyuk’s mum with a respectful bow. He strode towards the door Donghyuk had pointed, bowing to Yunhyeong’s mum and dad along the way. He glanced back, making sure that no one was looking in his direction. His mother was already talking to Yunhyeong’s parents while Eunjin was conversing with Hanbyul. He turned the doorknob, swinging the door quite roughly. Yunhyeong had his back to the him and did not even notice him when he shut the door close._

_“The canapes are ready. I think we can serve it, eomma.” Yunhyeong was saying, bending over and adding the flower chilli he had just sliced for garnishing. When he realised that no one was coming to take the serving tray, he stood up and turned, eyes widened at the sight of Hanbin, standing with arms akimbo, staring intently at him._

_“You left without telling me.” Hanbin whined and proceeded to hold his arms out. Yunhyeong remained where he was, gazing at him, unperturbed._

_“You really want me to hug you as if nothing happened the last time?” Yunhyeong griped, folding his arms to his chest. He had a polo shirt on, tucked into tapered black denims and a white cotton apron, slightly smeared with some yellow sauce, probably mustard, across his chest. Hanbin smiled raffishly and stepped nearer, snaking his arms around that slender waist as Yunhyeong brought his arms up to hold Hanbin by the shoulders, stopping him from advancing any further._

_“Are you still angry about that?” Hanbin breathed against his ear. Yunhyeong shut his eyes, reminding himself that his parents could come in at any moment and catch him like this._

_“Bin-ah, stop.” He moaned softly, trying to push Hanbin away, except his hands folded naturally over the wiry width of Hanbin’s shoulder. “We shouldn’t.” Yunhyeong begged._

_“Kiss me and I’ll let you go.” Hanbin grinned, unrelenting and stubborn when it came to his needs. Yunhyeong, as always, obliged, lips softly catching Hanbin’s pursed offering, pulled in, as if they did not part the last time on bad terms._

_There never was a moment when they parted with good memories and it was always for the same reason; their inability to take this, whatever this was, towards something more definite. Yunhyeong either ended up angry, crying, or both. No in-betweens. He allowed himself this pleasure though. Hanbin’s breath inside his mouth, Hanbin’s tongue exploring, charting over the back of his teeth, sweeping possessively against the roof of his mouth like some exotic delicacy._

_“Fuck you.” Yunhyeong whispered when Hanbin finally released him; breathless and untethered._

_“I’d rather fuck you, though.” Hanbin confessed, engraving Yunhyeong’s face to memory, in case he decided to storm off again in anger. His hands were still around Yunhyeong’s waist, his ample groin already rubbing against the strain of Yunhyeong’s apparent desire._

_“Stop this madness.” Yunhyeong pleaded, knowing fully well that this was how their relationship would continue to be if he kept being helpless to stop it. The way it has been for the last three years. He only wished, as he always did, that they both had enough courage to someday admit to their feelings and do something about it like Junhoe and Bobby was doing now._

_“How?” There was no stopping Hanbin now. One of his hands had somehow slipped into the waistline ofYunhyeong’s pants, stroking the familiar length in his fisted palm. “You are addictive. Don’t be angry with me, Yunhyeong-ah.” Hanbin pleaded, showing no signs of slowing down. Someone was hollering Hanbin’s name from outside and judging by the rough, raspy timbre of the voice, it sounded like Bobby. The way Hanbin released him and stepped back so quickly, was like a stab to Yunhyeong’s heart. He turned back to the refreshments he had been preparing, blinking back the tears that threatened to accumulate vainly, as Bobby barged through the door._

_“BRUH!” Bobby greeted and then Hanbin was hugging the groom, laughing as if he had not just broke Yunhyeong’s heart for the umpteenth time. Yunhyeong excused himself to get dressed for the ceremony, not even glancing back for fear his heart would burn again._

 

~~~~~

 

_In the other dressing room, Junhoe took another glance into the full-length mirror._

_“Ah-jjinja. How can anyone be this handsome? It must feel so unfair to all of you.” He enthused, fingers tugging lightly at the lapel of his finely tailored suit. Jinhwan, who had been sitting at the couch behind him chuckled and shook his head in disbelief._

_“Gajima.” Chanwoo protested from the dresser, where he had been leaning against. There was that trademark dimpled smile on his lips, though.He was not going to add anything else in protest, not today._

_“I can’t believe you are getting married before me.” Jinhwan stated in disbelief. He had reverted back to his Jeju accent after years of inactivity, speaking as though his mouth was full of cotton balls._

_“Ah-hyung, you’ll get married soon. You shouldn’t keep Noona waiting for you like this.” Junhoe taunted, turning sideways to make sure the jacket was not folded or crumpled at the back. Jinhwan had brought his fiance to the wedding; a pretty, pleasant mannered lady who had been his childhood friend. She ran the Jeju Historical Museum and was doing her doctorate in Jeju history._

_“Ya~don’t sound so boastful, just because you are getting married today.” Jinhwan rebuked, although he was still beaming, as if Junhoe was the son he was giving away._

_“I’m curious.” Chanwoo asked, folding his arms to his chest, appraising Junhoe, still smiling, “ After all these years, what made you finally say yes?” Junhoe stopped for a moment, glancing at Chanwoo._

_He had not seen the maknae for close to three years, since they decided to leave Korea and avoid all the hate they were facing when they made the brave decision to come out with their relationship. Chanwoo looked slightly more muscular now, with his hair cropped short and the fringe swept back, he looked every bit the famous actor, Jung Chanwoo. The Nation’s Prince, they lauded him. However, after almost four consecutive years’ of playing stereotypical, dashing leads and being nominated for awards, without winning any, he finally won his first Blue Dragon Best Actor award this year._

_Recently, he won over the critics’ as well for his latest movie, The Pygmalion, which saw him in his most darkest and challenging role yet. There was already talk of the movie being a possible nominee entry Best Foreign Film for this year’s Oscar, but as of now, it was yet to be confirmed. Junhoe shrugged, that familiar confident smirk appearing across his lips._

_“It just felt right.” He answered, looking into the mirror._

_Chanwoo had called him out of the blue early last year asking for help with the role. The role of a rigid professor mentoring and subsequently falling in love with a male student appealed to him and he not only wanted Junhoe’s opinion, but also ask him some personal questions that would aide him nail the auditions. Junhoe had given all the help and information Chanwoo needed, although till today, he had been puzzled by why Chanwoo had not asked Bobby, considering he was closer to him than Junhoe.  Whatever it was, it was the trip that had made him take the plunge. _

_“Tell us.” Jinhwan stated in excitement. Junhoe flashed that beaming, gummy smile they both had not realised they had missed so much, till it made an appearance._

_“Auh-Koo Junhoe!” Chanwoo teased. “You must be really happy today!” Junhoe’s booming laughter filled the room as he nodded in agreement._

_Their first year in Canada had hit him the hardest. He had to be away from his family, constantly worried for their safety. His depression had been so bad that he refused to even leave the bedroom. Bobby remained patient, very much expecting that it would take awhile for Junhoe to get over the trauma that came from being stigmatized in a conservative society._

_What had caught them off guard, was a personal, attempted attack on Junhoe, which later on, would leave him shaken._

_Fresh from the gym one night, two weeks after their very public coming out, he had been approached by a figure wearing a face mask, dressed in black and wielding a bat. The figure had appeared at the end of the walkway leading to the apartment he shared with Bobby and had rushed towards him quite suddenly. Junhoe barely had time to register what was happening; but had managed to defend himself, slapping away the bat in time before it ever had the chance to reach him, pushing back the assailant, who had staggered backwards, shocked by the retaliation. The assailant had run before Junhoe could pin him or even shout for help._

_Bobby had wanted to make a police report, despite Junhoe’s insistence that he was fine. He had just been shocked, but unharmed._

_For some reason, news of the attempted assault had reached the media, but it was the amount of hateful comments which had shook him to the core. Some were even aimed at hurting his family._

_A week after the attempted assault, the door to their apartment had been spray painted with the words ‘Die faggots!’ and this time, both of them went to the police station to file a report only to be disillusioned by the nonchalant way the officer in charge had taken down their statement. They realised that to stay any longer in Korea was just going to put their lives and respective families’ at risk. Bobby decided to take up Donghyuk’s offer to live with him in Vancouver temporarily, to help him set up his new business and Junhoe had followed reluctantly._

_Slowly, almost without notice, Junhoe descended into a self-imposed depression, made even worse by the thought of not having his family around him so often. Even their lovemaking had come to a complete halt, as Junhoe wasted most of his days in sullen silence. Months flew by and things got worse despite coming back to South Korea often for visits to meet his family, Junhoe remained in limbo for a year and a half. Inevitably, it was Yunhyeong who to the rescue._

_Coming down to Vancouver on the pretext that he wanted to take a break, he had taken a sabbatical from the musical he was starring in indefinitely, and flew all the way to Canada with every intention of pulling Junhoe out from shadows where he had hidden._

_He kept pestering Junhoe to bring him to all the tourist attractions; Niagara Falls, Quebec with its rustic castles and landscapes and even the national parks. Junhoe had went along, pouting at first, but slowly he started to smile and enjoy himself again._

_By the time he returned to Vancouver, after almost a week of gallivanting with Yunhyeong, that gummy smile had returned to his lips again. He had hugged Bobby, who had missed him terribly, but could not come along, because he was busy helping Donghyuk set up the academy. That night, they had made love once more and Bobby had proposed. Once again, Junhoe refused, although he did promise that once he was ready, Bobby would be the first to know._

_It was also Yunhyeong, who told Donghyuk to get Junhoe to help out at his newly opened academy. Yunhyeong had to return to Korea and the last thing he wanted was to hear that Junhoe was depressed again._

_A month after the official opening of Donghyuk's academy, Junhoe held the first guitar lessons for kids in the area._

_Junhoe had been apprehensive, but Bobby, who was kept busy with his club gigs, encouraged him to do it. He relented and by the end of the week, his students had almost exceeded Donghyuk’s own dance classes. Being around kids opened him up to the possibility of marriage. He ruminated over it for the longest time and finally decided that perhaps he should not even ponder another moment longer._

_One night, a few days after his return from the latest trip to South Korea, he approached Bobby, who had been wiping his precious vinyl. He started his collection early that month and was dedicated to keeping it pristine._

_“I was wondering…” Junhoe whispered, standing by the kitchen doorframe, appraising the way Bobby’s back looked, standing there by his turntable deck, sturdy and strong.  His love for Bobby sometimes frightened him. The way it came over him in a tidal wave that seem unforgiving sometimes made him feel helpless. Now, though, he thought he was willing to chance it. They had been through so much together and he could not imagine living his life with anyone else in this world._

_“What?” Bobby turned, eyes slightly widened in curiosity. He smiled at the sight of Junhoe in the white and green colours of Donghyuk’s favourite ice hockey team and black shorts. Donghyuk had brought him to a game last week and they were now ice hockey buddies._

_“I was just…” Junhoe smiled, gaze faltering slightly. Bobby stopped whatever he was doing, placing the record and towel down, walking slowly towards Junhoe._

_“What is it, jagiya? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Bobby cajoled, holding out hands that were calloused from all that spinning at the clubs and helping Donghyuk out at his academy. Junhoe held them, smiling shyly, trying not to blush too much._

_“Remember, when I said that if I was ready, you would be the first to know?” Junhoe whispered, biting his lips in trepidation unsure how Bobby would react to this. Bobby released his hands quite suddenly, frozen in shock. His fingers raked through the sprout of messy curls he kept since they shifted there. Junhoe loved running his fingers through it._

_“Jjinja?! Jjinja?!” He was yelling now, the smile on his thin lips tremulous, as tears of joy began brimming in his eyes. “Really?!” He repeated, moving forward, cupping Junhoe’s cheeks tenderly. Junhoe nodded in affirmation, very much amused by the way Bobby’s face had scrunched up, trying to hold back tears. “Jagiya! You won’t change your mind now, right? You are not joking, right?” He was bending over now, clutching his tummy in disbelief, alarming Junhoe._

_“Love, I’m saying yes. I’m not changing my mind. Ever.” Junhoe whispered, walking in and trying to calm Bobby, who had his hands cupped over his mouth to stifle his cries, now. Bobby jumped on him quite suddenly, almost toppling him in the process. Bobby began to shout for joy, even as he tightened his hold around Junhoe. Donghyuk rushed out in panic at Bobby’s screams, looking around sleepily._

_“He said yes!” Bobby was yelling and crying at the same time. Donghyuk glanced at Junhoe, whose face was completely flushed red with embarrassment._

_“You did?! You said yes? Really?!” Donghyuk asked, pulling Junhoe away from Bobby and staring at him in disbelief. Bobby had ran off somewhere, even as Junhoe nodded, flashing his gummy smile. Donghyuk reeled him in for an embrace, his high-pitched laughter filling the room as he jumped up and down, dragging Junhoe in his arms. There was joy and relief on his face._

_Bobby had rushed back, holding a tiny velvet box in his hand. Donghyuk held Junhoe from behind by the shoulders, his face beaming with excitement, as Bobby knelt on one knee and opened the box with flourish, joy embedded on his face._

_“Koo Junhoe, will you marry me?” Bobby asked, tears running from the slits of his eyes, his smile so wide, it almost reached his ears. Junhoe was fascinated by the piece of jewellery shimmering in the box, though._

_At first glance, it looked like a plain silver band. Upon closer inspection, Junhoe saw that seven lines had been engraved in the middle and right in the centre of the lines, tiny rows of diamonds had been embossed to form a heart shape. The diamonds intersected the seven lines smoothly, almost without a break. Junhoe said yes in his mind before his lips could even form the word._

 

~~~~~

 

_Yunhyeong closed his eyes to the barrage of kisses Hanbin was showering along his neck. His lips were dense, wet and utterly divine against Yunhyeong’s skin. Hanbin was groaning rather loudly, a fact Yunhyeong had taken as a sign that he had been yearning for this as much as he has. Hanbin’s hands caress the length of his arms gently, guiding them upward and once he had them over his head, Hanbin pinned his wrists down and raised his head up, staring down at Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong arched his body upwards in reckless ecstasy, because Hanbin had suddenly stopped, making him crave for more. He opened his eyes and saw that Hanbin was appraising him in that gaze he recognised so well. It was that critical gaze. The one he flashed whenever he hit a note wrongly for the third or fourth time when it came time to record. The one that always made Yunhyeong squirm inwardly._

_“Hanbin…don’t stop…please.” Yunhyeong whimpered softly, trying to set his hands free. He wanted to hang on to Hanbin’s neck, pull him down for more kisses. Hanbin did not relent, tightening his grip and pushing his arousal; still encased in those boxers against Yunhyeong’s groin, which was already just as equally taut underneath those branded briefs he always wore, even more ardently. Yunhyeong moaned again, legs struggling against Hanbin’s weight._

_“I miss you. “ Hanbin muttered now, sill gazing at him intently, although now, with deliberate slowness, he began rubbing himself against Yunhyeong deliciously. Yunhyeong’s moans, soft and irregular, began to fill the motel room._

_The wedding had gone smoothly._

_Other than Bobby fumbling with the ring and dropping it while trying to slip it into Junhoe’s finger, causing everyone to break out in laughter, they were both officially wedded in front of their loved ones. Hanbin had passed Yunhyeong his handkerchief the moment Bobby kissed Junhoe, placing an arm around him instinctively and without thought. He already knew Yunhyeong was crying. They had cut the cake and Bobby had gotten the buttercream on Junhoe’s face before licking it up to everyone’s collective groans of disgust._

_After everyone left and the cleaning crew came in, there was little else to do. He caught Hanbin gazing at him intently and they both made for the exit after making respective excuses to their families to meet up later._

_The motel was an hour’s drive from the city and remote enough. They were all over each other the moment Hanbin locked the door. Hanbin might have ripped Yunhyeong’s suit in the process._

_It was uncanny how Yunhyeong ended up on the bed with Hanbin holding him hostage by the wrists. Yunhyeong had known from the beginning that he would never love anyone as much as he loves Hanbin. That was a given. But this given has also turned out to be a curse._

_Hanbin might be many things talented and fine, but when it came to love, the only thing he was good at was the ability to make Yunhyeong feel physically good and then hurt him by shutting him out. The last time it happened, Yunhyeong had walked out wondering how to stop his heart from loving Hanbin._

_It was futile, of course._

_“What are you thinking about?” Hanbin was murmuring as he nibbled Yunhyeong’s ear. His grip on Yunhyeong’s waist had loosened and those long fingers were trailing down Yunhyeong’s chest, slender waist before hooking against the waistband of his briefs._

_“Nothing.” Yunhyeong replied breathlessly. “Just…how…good this…” He tapered off because Hanbin’s lips, that dense, wet and utterly divine plumpness, which had been praising his neck had folded over the jut of his desire without warning. “Hanbin…” Yunhyeong gasped, as Hanbin worshipped his length with unforgiving tenacity. Fingers scrabbled against the back of Hanbin’s skull before grasping a handful of hair at the base of Hanbin’s neck gently. His other hand stretched against the milky white shoulder that had rested against one thigh. Hanbin suckled him tenderly, his tongue making soft, sucking noises as he did so. Hanbin wrapped Yunhyeong’s other leg over his shoulder as his suckling intensified, gripping a pliant thigh for traction, as Yunhyeong began thrusting forward instinctively._

_“Come into my hand, Yunhyeong-ah.” Hanbin urged, the moment he released Yunhyeong from all that intensified suckling, spitting into the said hand. Yunhyeong obeyed, rocking his body to the spasms that took over as Hanbin’s hand, slicked with the silk of his spit, traversed smoothly up and down his length. Yunhyeong turned his head into the pillow, muffling the shout of his release even as Hanbin stared after him in fascination, admiring the way Yunhyeong’s limber body and muscles moved as he succumbed to his orgasm._

_Yunhyeong sat up slowly the moment Hanbin took his hand away. Hanbin grabbed the towel by the nightstand and began wiping his hand, kneeling between Yunhyeong’s legs as he cleaned his digits. The front of his boxers were already straining against the material which encased it and Yunhyeong’s hands encircled Hanbin’s waist, pulling it down. He craned his neck upwards, looking up at Hanbin hungrily, dreamy eyes clouded with desire._

_“You are so beautiful, Song Yunhyeong.” Hanbin whispered, gazing down. He had thrown the towel aside, fingers cupping Yunhyeong’s chin, admiring the jawline and bending down to capture those lips again. Yunhyeong could taste himself in Hanbin’s mouth and his hands fisted around Hanbin’s turgid length, thumb flicking the rounded tip already gleaming with arousal. “Fuck me with your mouth.” Hanbin ordered as he released Yunhyeong from the kiss, panting with tumultuous desire. Yunhyeong levelled his mouth against the thrumming rod and obliged Hanbin._

_With expert familiarity, he enveloped his tongue around Hanbin, who had arched his back in primal ecstasy. Yunhyeong had always been a considerate and giving person. He was no different as a lover as Hanbin found out over the years. Hanbin’s fingers ran through Yunhyeong’s thick, black hair, pushing himself deeper into that luscious mouth full of promise. Yunhyeong took all of Hanbin’s pulsating shaft without complaints, his mouth suddenly turning into a vortex of moisture and cushioned with the promise of unforgiving pleasure. Hanbin began cursing softly under his breath, urging Yunhyeong to take all of him, to keep on sucking and taking him, even as he began thrusting into the malleable cave that Yunhyeong’s mouth had become._

_When he could not stand it any further, Hanbin slowly pushed Yunhyeong to release him and lie back down onto the bed, kicking his boxers away. His hands gripped Yunhyeong down by the wrists once more, although this time, Hanbin splayed those wiry arms by the side. He bend down to claim those lips proprietarily before releasing Yunhyeong long enough to stretch his body across the bed towards the night stand._

_“Hanbin?” Yunhyeong husked, looking up at Hanbin, eyes still clouded even though he had spent all his desires just awhile ago. Hanbin was grabbing the tube of lubricant they had bought along the way, ripping through the seal and pressing the gel onto his hands. One of his hands began palming between the swell of Yunhyeong’s derriere. He kept his other hand on the turgid length of his arousal even as his finger found Yunhyeong’s tight entry. “Hanbin-ah.” Yunhyeong called out when he felt Hanbin’s intrusion._

_“This might hurt you.” Hanbin confessed, adding on another finger into the moistened opening._

_“Not any worse than the pain you have always inflicted on my heart.” Yunhyeong replied in a breathless whisper that bespoke of urgency more than meaning. It was a return, which bothered Hanbin more than he would ever admit._

_He eased himself in, the veins of his neck protruding as he tried controlling the speed with which he had sheathed himself into Yunhyeong. This, even as he tried holding off the headlong spurring that was his desire. “Just do it, Hanbin-ah.” Yunhyeong piqued, his body, already helpless with another onslaught of desire, almost balled into agony. Hanbin bit into his own lips as his self control snapped, unaware that he was drawing blood as he did so. He pushed himself all the way to the hilt, as Yunhyeong turned sideways, biting the pillow allowing his muffled shout to overtake the hushed silence in the room. Yunhyeong’s limbs flailed helplessly as Hanbin’s hands gripped his shoulders for support. Hanbin began thrusting himself into Yunhyeong, spewing curses as his whole body froze for mere seconds when he reached the zenith of this intolerable pleasure._

_Yunhyeong was ready to catch Hanbin as he crashed into his arms, spent and satiated. Hanbin’s breath tapering against his neck, became his world once again and he shut his eyes, pushing away tears that threatened to spill at the wave of love, which was now sweeping over the landscape of his throbbing heart._

_Long moments seem to pass and Hanbin finally pulled himself up, turning over so that they were now lying side by side on the bed. Yunhyeong turned to his side, allowing the crook of his body to align against Hanbin. His eyes widened at the sight of blood on Hanbin’s lips._

_“Bin-ah, your lips…they are bleeding.” Yunhyeong sat up, he turned, grabbing a tissue from the box that was on the table._

_“I’m fine.” Hanbin assured him. His eyes were still closed, so Yunhyeong sat by him and took it upon himself to wipe the blood off gently. Hanbin wrapped his nearest arm around Yunhyeong’s back, fingers caressing that slender waist as Yunhyeong tended to his lips._

_“They must be dry. Let me get my lip balm for you.” Yunhyeong added now._

_“Ah~Song Yunhyeong, can’t you just stay still for a few seconds!” Hanbin complained, eyes still closed._

_When Yunhyeong did not answer, he scrunched his face and opened an eye to see what was going on. Yunhyeong was holding out a box in his direction._

_“What’s this?” He asked, sitting up immediately. It was obviously a jewellery box; beribboned and expensive looking. it reminded him of those rectangular Tiffany boxes, except this was a bright canary yellow in colour._

_“I meant to give it to you for your birthday last year but after what happened I…” Yunhyeong drifted off, not wanting to continue._ _Hanbin looked up, searching Yunhyeong’s face, but it had hardened to a stillness Hanbin knew better than to prod. “Open it.” Yunhyeong urged, sitting by him, shaking the box slightly. Hanbin took it by the tips of his fingers, untying the box and opening it expectantly, a smile forming on his supple lips._ _T_ _he gold chain was not thick enough to be ostentatious, but neither was it too fine. Hanbin’s finger touched the rectangular, salmon pink stone pendant in fascination. “It’s a tourmaline, your birthstone.” Yunhyeong explained, with an eagerness that was almost out of habit. “The lady at the store told me that it is healing for your chakras and help balanced out the negative forces surrounding your positive energy.” Hanbin was gazing at him in wonder now. “What?” It was Yunhyeong’s turn to whine._

_“Nothing at all about how it reflects the light of the heart and love?” Hanbin teased, taking it out of the soft paper tissue and foam pillow it had been resting on._

_“Omo~how did you know?” Yunhyeong blushed slightly at Hanbin’s dearth of knowledge._

_“It’s my birthstone. I should know, right? Yunhyeong, how much did this cost? It must be expensive. This is an extremely rare stone.” Hanbin continued, he unclasped the necklace, holding it out to Yunhyeong and turning slightly, wanting Yunhyeong to put it on for him._

_“It wasn’t that expensive.” Yunhyeong dismissed, obliging Hanbin. He was beaming, because it was more than obvious that Hanbin loved the gift. Hanbin was still holding the pendant when he turned back. It was quite hefty, but somewhat comforting. “What matters is, do you like it?” Yunhyeong asked._

_“Totally…HATE IT!” Hanbin yelled suddenly, tackling Yunhyeong who, caught by surprise, lost his balance and fell back into the bed, with Hanbin on top of him. The box fell off the bed forgotten as Hanbin began kissing Yunhyeong with fervour._

 

~~~~~

 

Yunhyeong emerged from the bathroom, not surprised that Junhoe was waiting for him, brows furrowed in concern.

“We need to talk.” Junhoe declared, as if that would solve all the problems in his life. Yunhyeong bit his lips with uncertainty.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Yunhyeong dismissed, strutting down the doorway. He had barely taken the few steps when Junhoe pulled him back by the arm and practically slung him over his shoulders and into the study, a door away. “YA~!” Yunhyeong yelled in surprise. It was unfortunate that over the years, Junhoe has only gotten fitter and buffer.

The study was Yunhyeong’s third favourite room after the living room. The pinewood bookcases carved into different shapes in the middle, accommodated seating spaces, inviting endless hours of sitting and reading. Yunhyeong can already imagine Nani or Dongie making themselves comfortable on the seats or just lying down while reading the books. There were also upholstered armchairs in the opposite corner on the carpeted area with an Oriental rosewood table which had intricate carvings of dragons on its legs and this area was where Junhoe placed him down unceremoniously.

Junhoe then closed the door, standing in front of it, blocking for good measure. Yunhyeong had just managed to calm himself down while in the restroom and he really did not want to have another meltdown. Not so soon after the last.

“Hyung, I’m just going to say it now. You are not going anywhere until you have told me everything.” Junhoe promised. He was gritting his jaw and his gaze had barely changed since he brought Yunhyeong upstairs fifteen minutes ago after his altercation with Hanbin. Yunhyeong sighed loudly and settled himself onto one of the armchairs.

“Where's that drink you promised me? Yunhyeong demanded. Junhoe shook his head. 

"No. No drinks. Talk to me first." Junhoe insisted, standing there, unmoved.

"I’m getting married tomorrow.” Yunhyeong exclaimed without conviction. Junhoe strode in and sat in the armchair opposite, exhaling loudly.

“Do you love her?” Junhoe asked, brows furrowed in concern. Yunhyeong looked up, gazing into those eyes that were brown, warm and clear. Junhoe’s directness was truly a trait he had never learnt to control and Yunhyeong was thankful for it.

“I…I don’t know.” Yunhyeong confessed, biting his lips, knowing that it was not the answer Junhoe had expected. Junhoe cursed under his breath, crossing his legs and arms, biting his thumb in frustration.

“Why didn’t you tell me, hyung? After all these years, why did you keep it to yourself?” Junhoe’s questions filled him with an inordinate amount of guilt. He gazed at his hand, the same one he had fisted and ran over Hanbin’s plump lips, the same ones that always seem to think they belong on his person. He felt an ache in those fingers, but the pain in his heart was nothing compared to it.

“It’s not something you can just discuss with anyone.” Yunhyeong exhaled, not daring to look up.

“But do you love Hanbin?” Junhoe asked the most important question of all. Yunhyeong looked at Junhoe miserably in answer. “Shit.” Junhoe muttered to himself.

Why had he burst into tears? He had always wanted to hit that perfect face over the years. The countless times, Hanbin dismissed his feelings and made him feel as if he was alone in holding the torch. To hear that Hanbin had inadvertently told Dongie the necklace was a gift from someone he loves wracked Yunhyeong with guilt as well.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Yunhyeong asked, the misery in his eyes were painful to witness.

“We have to stop the wedding.” Junhoe stated. Yunhyeong gaped at Junhoe. “The last thing you want is to be trapped in a loveless marriage. Hanbin made that mistake. Once is enough, hyung.” Junhoe added with a ruthlessness Yunhyeong never knew he possessed.

“It’s not going to be easy.” Yunhyeong was conflicted and Junhoe hated that.

“If you love him and he loves you, no matter how hard it is going to be, at least you will have each other.” Junhoe says and it was definitely hard to ignore the pain in his voice as he recalled those early days in Vancouver. “Plus, you will have me and Bobby. All of us.” Junhoe added with conviction Yunhyeong found admirable.

“Have you told the rest?” Yunhyeong asked, looking alarmed. Junhoe shook his head. 

“If you need our help, this could be solved rather easily. First of all, how badly do you think she will take it if you call it off?” Junhoe specifically asked. Yunhyeong shrugged.

“I think she will be fine. It’s her father I’m more worried about. The wedding would have opened doors for the expansion in Japan.” Yunhyeong pondered.

The door to the study opened and Bobby swaggered in with Hanbin. Yunhyeong stood up, eyes widened in concern. Hanbin was holding a frozen bag of peas, which had been wrapped in a dishtowel, against his mouth. “Are you alright?” He asked feeling absolutely remorseful.

“Other than a bruised ego?” Hanbin said, grimacing a smile. “I’m fine.” Yunhyeong walked over, grabbing the cold dishcloth from him and examining the cut. Hanbin took the opportunity to admire that jawline up close for the first time without fearing any judgement. It felt good not to do so secretly, even with an aching jaw.

“It’s not that bad.” Yunhyeong surmised, looking closely. Bobby chuckled and both of them looked at him, surprised.

“He was saying it hurt like a motherfucker in the kitchen!” Bobby shared, trying to hold back his laughter. Hanbin glared at Bobby, but his gaze softened immediately when it returned to Yunhyeong’s worried countenance. He truly looked good even after all these years. Hanbin could not believe that he was going to lose it all without putting up a fight.

“I came back for you, Yunhyeong-ah.” Hanbin finally confessed. “I love you. I always have loved you and no one else. I have been so fucking stupid. Please don’t marry someone else.” He added softly for good measure. Yunhyeong had stopped worrying over the cut on Hanbin’s lips, eyes searching that face. He sighed.

“No offence, Hanbin, but your timing kind of sucks.” Junhoe interjected, walking up to Bobby, who put an arm around his waist. Hanbin glared at Junhoe now.

“You both are totally not helping right now.” Hanbin intoned softly, as if in warning.

“Junhoe’s right.” Bobby added defensively.

“I don’t think I can stay for dinner then. I would have to meet her family and explain everything.” Yunhyeong spoke up quite suddenly. All of them turned to look at him in surprise now. Concern flooded Hanbin’s calm face.

“Explain everything?” Hanbin piped in whisper. Yunhyeong nodded, gazing at Hanbin in determination.

“I’m doing that much for you, asshole. What are you going to do for me in return? Will you pay me back the deposits I’ve paid to the caterers, for the wedding venue and all the other expenses?” Yunhyeong challenged, pushing the pea-wrapped dishcloth against Hanbin’s lips. Hanbin groaned in pain, but there was an incandescent smile on his lips.

“I’ll pay for our wedding expenses then.” Hanbin offered. Yunhyeong gaze at him in shock. He would never have dared ventured that someday the word wedding would ever be heard mention between them under the same roof.

“I have not consented to anything.” Yunhyeong declared openly, although the smile on his lips was enough to rival the happiness Hanbin was displaying.

“It would have to be done overseas. You guys do know that that it’s still illegal here, right?” Junhoe chimed in. Hanbin glanced in Junhoe’s direction and then turn to look at Yunhyeong back again.

“I’d go to the ends of the world to marry him as long as he says yes.” Hanbin declared softly, moving forward to kiss Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong held him back with a hand on on that formidable chest.

“One thing at a time, Romeo. I need to get myself out of this delicate mess first and then I will need to tell my family. You need to tell yours too. Enough secrets. We’ll talk about weddings and marriage after we’ve come clean with everyone.” Yunhyeong insisted. Hanbin nodded in agreement.

“If you’re done with everything before the evening ends, come back here for dinner, hyung. Jinan-hyung, Donghyukie and Chanu will be joining us.” Junhoe stated resolutely. The door opened and Dongie ran in wearing nothing but diapers. The day maid ran in after him.

“Yunhyeong _Samcheon_ , help me!” He cried, running towards Yunhyeong, hands held out and up. Yunhyeong picked him up with ease. The flustered young lady looked apprehensively at Junhoe, who nodded at her with a slight smile on his lips.

“It’s fine Hanna, we’ve got it here. You can go take care of Nani.” Junhoe assured her. She nodded and left.

“Why are you running away? You have not gotten dressed yet!” Yunhyeong teased him in his singsong voice.

“I only want to wear Batman shirts. Hanna _eonnie_ said there’s no more Batman shirts.” The little one complained petulantly. He really looked like Junhoe when he puckered his lips. 

“Squirt, you’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t wear something.” Junhoe intoned firmly as Bobby stroked his back to keep him calm. 

“Come on,” Yunhyeong was saying now, “let’s go to my most favourite room in the house and find you a Batman shirt.” He declared loudly, walking out. 

“My room?” Dongie asked, looking pleased.

“Of course!” Yunhyeong added, passing the dishcloth to Hanbin, who had been looking at him interacting with Dongie, in amusement. “If there’s no Batman shirts, we’ll just have to go get some more!” Yunhyeong promised, walking out of the room with Dongie on his arms. The boy, looked over his favourite _samcheon_ ’s shoulder; gazing at the other three men, who were watching the whole episode quietly, and stuck his tongue out in their direction, a familiar look of mischief plastered on that tiny face.

“I should kick his ass.” Junhoe exhaled under his breath as Bobby laughed, amazed that Junhoe did not even see how uncanny the behaviour was, considering their youngest was exactly like him.

“I should go with him.” Hanbin was saying now, almost to himself as if he was enamoured. “He should not have to do this alone.” Both Junhoe and Bobby looked at Hanbin as he started walking out.

“Hanbin-ah.” Junhoe called him. Hanbin looked back, his face looking slightly annoyed at the sudden interruption. “At least give me back those peas, would you? I need them for the dinner tonight.” Junhoe teased. Hanbin looked down at the dishcloth in his hand and rolled his eyes. Without missing a beat, he suddenly threw the whole thing in Bobby’s direction and thanks to his quick reflex, Bobby caught it just in time as it flew in front of him.

“I should kick _your ass_.” Hanbin retorted a warning and exited the door to catch up with Yunhyeong.

 


	4. Between Wednesdays, Assumptions & Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe finds himself being forced to go on a date with Chanwoo and offering him vital relationship advice. Despite it being a Wednesday, the night unearthed an uncomfortable piece of memory, which had spurred him to make a very important decision in his life, ten years ago. Now faced with new decisions, both Junhoe and Bobby find time to take their family towards a new direction and focus whilst reinforcing the bonds they have forged for almost twenty years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bijes, this contains smut so if you're below 18, scoot. If you're over, I am not responsible for whatever feels you might have. Also, thank you for all the encouragement you all have given me, it was vital in me actually completing this chapter, I was stuck at the JunChan after-party scene for the longest time.

An hour into the whole thing and Junhoe already felt drained.

 

It was a harsh reminder that he barely missed the world he left behind; full of glitz and glamour, but little else. He was into his second flute of champagne and his date was nowhere near in sight. Not surprising, considering that tonight was his night. With the Oscar nominations just announced, it was only right for the film industry to hold the party in honour of having one of their own films be part of the elite. That’s always how the industry had worked. The same people who would shine the spotlight on the ones acknowledged by the best in the world, can also be the ones to kick you to the kerb when chips are down. That was the only thing he had brought with him when he left idol life.

 

Junhoe just hoped that he would not return to a house being burned down, with a husband and two kids missing. He always felt that way when he was away from them. The level of anxiety just goes up the longer he was not with them. He sighed, smiling immediately when someone familiar waved to him in acknowledgement; a face from the past when they were still active as a group, probably an MV producer or one of the assistant directors, perhaps. He was thankful the guy did not approach him. He was definitely not up for socialising tonight.

 

“Wow, that’s the fakest smile out of all the fake smiles I’ve seen tonight.” Chanwoo’s voice broke into his misery, joining him at the little corner he had been standing in trying to make himself disappear into. His voice had come full circle, rounded into that deep bass it had always promised when they were still doing the music circuit. Too bad, he was no longer singing now, Junhoe thought.

 

“Goddamnit, where have you been all this time, Jung Chanwoo?” He questioned, trying not to sound angry. Brooding Junhoe always sounded angry, even if he had not meant to. Brooding Junhoe was also looking real fine in a tailored suit, although Chanwoo could guess from the way he kept pulling on that silk cravat, that it had been awhile since he had been decked out in one of those.

 

“I was talking to an indie director.” Chanwoo whispered, nodding his head to one of the co-stars from his latest movie. “There’s a possibility that I have found my next project.” Chanwoo admitted, “How many glasses of champagne have you had? You sound so pissed.” The _maknae_ added, his dark eyes finally regarded Junhoe with curiosity. He chuckled as the scowl on Junhoe’s face deepened. “Oh dear God, Koo Junhoe, you really are a stay-at-home mum, aren’t you?” Chanwoo surmised, sipping on his champagne and trying not to choke with laughter.

 

“Not funny.” Junhoe sulked, grabbing a third glass. “Why couldn’t you have asked Bobby to go with you? Or that mysterious girlfriend of yours?” Junhoe contended, still unsmiling.

 

“I did ask Jiwon- _hyung_. He told me to bring you.” Chanwoo exclaimed. “He said you’ve not been out of the house enough.” He added, smiling politely and bowing at a starlet, who walked past with her sugar daddy producer.

 

“He did?” Junhoe asked in genuine surprise. “Bobby knows better than to share our marriage problems with a stranger.” He added, pouting and sipping on the champagne. Chanwoo took a sip of his, leaning against the wall beside Junhoe casually, eyes scouring the crowd.

 

“First of all, he didn’t share anything. He just asked me to take you instead of him. Second of all, my mysterious girlfriend just dumped me last week. Says I’m more crazy about baseball than her. Third of all, are you guys having marital problems? And last but not the least, I’m hurt that after almost seventeen years of friendship, you’d still consider me a stranger. _Hyung_.” It was uncanny how after seventeen years too, Chanwoo has actually perfected his deadpan expression whenever he was making fun of anyone.

 

In that one statement, Junhoe was spurred to pick up a few things; the state of his married life, the condition of Chanwoo’s love life and the added sarcasm in him addressing Junhoe as an older brother, as an afterthought. It hit him hard that Bobby thought he spent way too much time at home, with the kids. Junhoe made that choice a long time ago. He never questioned it once and he only attributed it to the fact that one of them had an active career to continue.

 

“Did I hit a nail? Or maybe six?” Chanwoo teased when Junhoe remained silent. He was getting a buzz, already, but it was good to be out here in the jungle with a familiar face. “If you must know, I had been planning to bring Yunhyeong- _hyung_. But thanks to the both of you, he has run off with Hanbin- _hyung_ and now you are stuck with babysitting the _maknae_.” Chanwoo summed it all up quite aptly.

 

Yunhyeong and Hanbin had a little ceremony in Maui, two months ago. Everyone was in attendance with the exception of Jinhwan, whose wife had gone into an early labour. Not much were in the papers about that other than the fact that Song’s opened their first branch in Tokyo. Then the couple took off for their honeymoon, gallivanting around the world. The Kims’ received a postcard last week with a Prague stamp on it. It was now nestled right between Nani’s watercolour painting of the galaxies, in a wash of blue and purple, and Dongie’s rendition of Batman (it was just yellow and mostly black crayon scribbles), but Junhoe had christened it ‘Batman’ and that was that, on their fridge, with a line which only expressed joy and love. There was even a P.S. from Hanbin. It said, he would come back to kick Junhoe’s ass when they return.

 

“Well, I’m sorry to ruin your plans. If I had known this would happen and I’d end up drinking champagne at a boring party with you, I would have definitely refrained from getting them to confess their long-kept, hidden feelings for each other.” Junhoe stated quite carelessly, draining the glass of its contents. An entourage of shiny people approached them.

 

“Chanwoo-sshi!” The middle-aged man exclaimed, holding out his hand. 

 

“Ah~Minhyuk-nim, what a pleasure to see you again!” Chanwoo had greeted in return and shook that hand with aplomb. His arm candy had her eye set on Junhoe though and Chanwoo, almost as if on cue, made the introductions himself. “I’m sure all of you know Koo Junhoe?” Chanwoo said, dark eyes urging Junhoe to play nice.

 

“Ah~the singer?” _The singer_. It always came back to that. Junhoe could not believe that there was a time when it was all that mattered to him. Junhoe flashed his megawatt smile and held his hand out.

 

“I had the privilege of working with Minhyuk-nim for my first movie. He was the director.” Chanwoo duly informed Junhoe. Junhoe could barely remember the last movie Chanwoo had been in and he was death on the first.

 

“Is that so? I hope my _dongsaeng_ had not been too much of a trouble for you.” Junhoe concluded respectfully. The wife, a woman probably older than even their mothers, was jostling for attention now, grabbing Junhoe’s hand quite suddenly.

 

“This is no mere singer, darling.” She was lamenting now. “Koo Junhoe is a celebrated poet and he’s married to that hot rapper! The one Vivian listens to!” She added, without skipping a beat.

 

“Vivian’s our daughter.” The director explained, slightly flushed with embarrassment, either at his wife’s forthcoming behaviour or the fact that he did not know who Junhoe was. Junhoe nodded in acknowledgement. For which, he did not know either. They drifted off, probably already drunk from all that expensive champagne that does not seem to stop flowing in this glitzed up party.

 

“Well, that was probably the highlight of the night.” Chanwoo admitted, smiling sheepishly.

 

“This is one for the books. A celebrated poet married to that hot rapper.” Junhoe commented under his breath, almost in disgust.

 

“Come on, June-ya. Let’s get out of here and have a real drink eh?” Chanwoo countered and Junhoe sighed his relief. Junhoe rang Bobby while they waited for the valet to bring Chanwoo’s car around.

 

“How is it going? Are you enjoying yourself?” Bobby came on eagerly.

 

“Ya~Kim Jiwon, “Junhoe moped, “I swear I will kick your balls when I come home tonight.”

 

“ _Jagiya_ …have a good date with Chanwoo. I told him to bring you to the finest restaurant tonight.” Bobby chuckled over the phone.

 

“Do you have a death wish?” Junhoe muttered, glancing at Chanwoo who was standing by the valet’s podium, probably texting Bobby. “Are the kids asleep?” He asked.

 

“Nope, Dongie says he won’t sleep without you.” Bobby declared.

 

“I’ll ask Chanwoo to bring me home.” Junhoe said immediately.

 

“If you come home, I’m locking you out.” Bobby threatened.

 

“Fuck you.” Junhoe replied.

 

“I promise to do that to you when you come home. Have the dinner date with Chanwoo and then come home.” Bobby insisted.

 

“You crazy fuck, I’d rather have the dinner date with you.” Junhoe pleaded over the phone. Bobby laughed loudly.

 

“ _Jagiya_. How many men have you dated before me?” Bobby asked, out of the blue. Junhoe was stymied by the question. He had never questioned his love for Bobby. Bobby is his first love and still is. Probably will be, until they were old and dying.

 

“I swear, Kim Jiwon, you must have balls of steel to be asking this of me. Do you really want to die?” Junhoe’s face was flushed red with anger. Chanwoo’s car came. A Peugeot convertible, the striking colour of green. Junhoe ended the call. “Send me home, Chanu-ya.” Junhoe stated, his face solemn and unrelenting.

 

“I’m sorry. I promised Jiwon-hyung, I’d take you out on a date.” Chanwoo muttered as the valet handed him the keys. “He’d kill me if I sent you home.” Chanwoo added.

 

“I’ll kill you before he does.” Junhoe threatened. Chanwoo chortled.

 

“Is that suppose to be a threat?” Chanwoo gazed at him, brows furrowed in amusement. “Come on, June-ya. The place is great and with a magnificent view. Plus, I need your advice on something.” Junhoe forgot all about being angry the moment Chanwoo mentioned about asking for advice. He gave a hesitant look at the posh car, took a deep breath and entered it. Bobby had texted him a message.

 

**_Jagiya. Go for your date and kill me with kisses later_ **

 

A photo of the kids already asleep, was attached. Junhoe could feel tears already brimming in his eyes just looking at it.

 

“Are you alright?” Chanwoo was asking. Junhoe nodded and willed his anxiety away. Perhaps, Bobby was right, he needed to unwind. “Great. You are going to love this place.” He added as he drove off.

 

Seoul had changed since he moved into the suburbs. The place that Chanwoo had brought him to was probably, currently the tallest right now, considering the view he was getting now as the waiter sat him down.

 

“Do you still like sashimi?” Chanwoo was asking, perusing through the menu carefully.

 

“Yes.” Junhoe answered. He just had it with his family last week. Well, correction, he did managed a few slices whilst having to chase after Dongie, who in turn…

 

“Ya~ _hyung_. “ Chanwoo was calling him impatiently. Junhoe glared at him.

 

“I swear to God if you call me _hyung_ one more time…”

 

“Ah-Koo Junhoe. You are still so sassy after all these years.” Chanwoo teased.

 

“It’s Kim Junhoe now and let me just remind you, I’m a happily married man.” Junhoe retorted. Chanwoo placed his hands up in surrender.

 

“Alright, alright. Perhaps wine and steak are in order, tonight. I heard the wagyu here is magnifique. It would be…romantic, would it not?” Chanwoo teased. Junhoe gazed at Chanwoo in apprehension. The last time they met was Hanbin’s and Yunhyeong’s wedding in Maui. He had flown in alone, straight from shooting his latest movie, yet to be released, and he had looked slightly harried. He barely spoke to anyone during the reception, but Junhoe knew something was bothering him, judging by the glum face he had on. Bobby had spoken to him but Junhoe had forgotten to ask what it was that had been bothering the maknae.

 

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

 

_Maui, 2 months ago._

 

_“Has he told you anything?” Yunhyeong had asked him as Junhoe adjusted the crisp collar of the bright orange Hawaiian shirt he had on. They both went for a casual tropical dress code for the wedding, so everyone was wearing comfortable beach shirts and surf shorts. Even Junhoe himself had khaki bermudas and a white shirt printed with purple flowers on him._

 

_Junhoe shook his head wordlessly. Chanwoo had just arrived, bringing wedding gifts. Yet, everyone knew he was not himself. He had a stubble, looked very tired and barely talked to anyone. Bobby said he had just drunk-called Bobby the night before saying he might not make it to the wedding and Bobby being Bobby, had told him, unless he was dying or his wife was giving birth, he had better haul his ass in or Bobby would come looking for him when he returned to Seoul._

 

_“Didn’t he call you?” Junhoe asked casually, adjusting the collar and then giving him a once over, just to make sure everything was perfect._

 

_“He called Hanbin. Hanbin said he was probably drunk, muttering about the team not performing so well.” Junhoe sighed inwardly. Chanwoo buying the baseball team had surprised him. He is a baseball fan, but buying the whole team? That was just…”Are you sure I look okay?”_

 

_“You look fine.” Junhoe answered distractedly. Yunhyeong hugged him quite suddenly. “Ah-hyung!” He groaned aloud._

 

_“Thank you.” Yunhyeong whispered. Junhoe could feel tears coming on._

 

_“I should thank you.” He retorted. “No crying, hyung. Hanbin’s gonna kick my ass if he knew I made you cry.” Junhoe wailed loudly. Yunhyeong chuckled, releasing Junhoe and wiping the tears that were already brimming in his eyes._

 

_“I can’t believe I’m getting married.” Yunhyeong admitted, teary-eyed. “To the one I love.” He had a faraway look in his eyes and Junhoe could only imagine how he must feel all these years waiting for Hanbin to acknowledge what had been in his own heart. There was a knock on the door and Bobby walked in, carrying a sulky Dongie and dragging along a sullen Nani. He had the same white shirt as Junhoe’s, only his, had blue flowers printed on them._

 

_“Yunhyeong Samcheon!” Dongie exclaimed holding out his hands, which Junhoe quickly interceded._

 

_“Not today, squirt. Samcheon is getting married.” Junhoe stated, the boy pouted as Yunhyeong pinched one cheek and then ruffled Nani’s curls with one hand. “What happened?” Junhoe mouthed at Bobby._

 

_“They ran around the garden and toppled Tammy’s flower sculpture. “ Bobby muttered, glancing apologetically at Yunhyeong, who could not care less about the sculpture, as he bent over slightly to kiss Nani’s forehead._

 

_“Yunhyeong Samcheon! Papa says Hanbin Samcheon and you are getting married today!” Dongie exclaimed, his eyes were truly bid and expressive, very much like Junhoe’s._

 

_“Yes I am, and I need you and Nani to be at your best behaviour because you have very important roles.” Yunhyeong was using his best storyteller’s voice now. It was the same one he would use when they were still active and he was exaggerating one of his many stories._

 

_“What important roles?” Nani was asking now, utterly curious._

 

_“You both will be my best men!” Yunhyeong announced. “Do you know what that means?”_

 

_“Yes, Daddy said, it means we must walk with you and make sure you kiss Hanbin Samcheon!” Nani announced. Junhoe rolled his eyes as Yunhyeong broke into spontaneous laughter. Bobby was grinning sheepishly._

 

_“I need to go to the restroom.” Junhoe exhaled aloud. Bobby glanced at him. They had been married long enough for Bobby to notice the sharpness in his voice. It had become prevalent only recently. It reminded Bobby of their early days in Vancouver as Junhoe spiralled into the pitfalls of his own darkness. It was worrying and he thought maybe they both needed time to be alone. Bobby had only returned recently after being in Japan for almost two months and although Junhoe brought the kids over to visit him once or twice, they barely had time to talk, forget about any lovemaking whenever they were together._

 

_The ceremony went well. Everyone was crying, well, mostly Yunhyeong, but it was his wedding day, so no one trolled him for it. As everyone walked out towards the reception, Bobby caught sight of Chanwoo, standing at the back row. Junhoe must have seen him too, he nudged Bobby and then had taken the kids with him to join the reception, giving Bobby ample time to speak to their troubled maknae._

 

_They found a secluded spot near the deserted beach. There were lounge chairs strewn across the stretch, the slatted, plastic type and they sat there. Bobby glanced at Chanwoo._

 

_“What happened to you, man?” Bobby asked, not even wasting time. Chanwoo sighed loudly, resting back on the chair._

 

_“Nothing. I’m preparing the role for my next movie.” Chanwoo countered. His voice had taken on this low, bass quality. It was commanding and absolutely pleasant to hear. It was, as a matter fact, deeper than Junhoe’s, although it might be lacking in range._

 

_“As what? A drunk? A bum?” Bobby quipped. He wished they had cans of beer, that would totally hit him right on the spot. A cold, can of beer and maybe a tall drink of Junhoe. "You've been pretty out of things lately." Bobby intoned._

 

_“I'm playing serial killer with a split personality.” Chanwoo intoned, his voice going even deeper. Bobby’s gaze, anchored on him, slightly surprised by the cold tone in his voice._

 

_“That sounds heavy.” Bobby commented, licking his dry lips._

 

_“Yes, I’m playing a psychopath, so I’m actually on an emotional blackout.” Chanwoo expressed, his voice lacking any form of emotion._

 

_“Was that why you didn’t want to come?” Bobby asked, unnerved by this Chanwoo. Under the brightness of the sun, it was disturbing to see the darkness in his cold stare and his almost haggard features. Ironically, Chanwoo’s career truly soared after they disbanded. He came into his own as an actor. It frustrated him to be known as the idol turned actor in the early days of his acting career, but as he dedicated his mind to the craft, he took on roles that not many actors his age would ever dared to attempt._

 

_“Yeah, but I’m good. I need to practice it on someone though and I’ve chosen you.” Chanwoo stated, turning his gaze towards Bobby with intent._

 

_“What’s…that? Homework?” Bobby stuttered a bit. There was something in Chanwoo’s gaze that he did not like. It was a little too much, a little too, not-Chanwoo._

 

_“Yes. The coach gave me an assignment. I am supposed to tell someone a secret he’s not supposed to know , practice the way I react to a situation.” Chanwoo further explained. He was not smiling and the stubble growing on that chiselled chin made him look even older than Bobby. He had buffed up too. His frame, muscular, his chest straining slightly against the floral shirt he wore._

 

_“Is that someone, me?” Bobby asked in hesitation. Chanwoo nodded in an affirming and brusque manner, flipping his hazelnut brown hair which he kept short at the back, but floppy at the front with a fringe. “What do you want to tell me?” Bobby’s eyes flitted from the shoreline to Chanwoo._

 

_“You know that year when you and Junhoe were in Vancouver and he flew to Korea to visit his family and had a meetup with me?” Chanwoo said heavily._

 

_“You little dipshit!” Bobby exclaimed, suddenly standing up, standing over Chanwoo menacingly and pulling at his collar. Alarm flooded Chanwoo’s face at this sudden reaction._

 

_“He…he told you what happened?” Chanwoo gaped in surprise, eyes wide, as he took in Bobby’s face now filled with rage._

 

_“Of course he did! What did you think our relationship was based on? Lies?” Bobby half yelled, eyes looking up towards the beach house hoping no one was looking in their direction. Thankfully, the tent where the reception was being held was not even within hearing distance and they were also slightly hidden by a palm tree._

 

_“Junhoe told you about the kiss?” Chanwoo was exclaiming in disbelief._

 

_“He told me as soon as he returned, dipshit. He flew back from Korea that very night. I wanted to go over and knock your teeth out. But he stopped me, of course. He knew I was going to be angry about it. Even if it had been for your stupid ass movie, it didn’t change the fact that you kissed my boyfriend!”   Bobby pulled harder at the collar, took in Chanwoo's horrified face and released him immediately._

 

_“Junhoe really told you.” Chanwoo surmised now, whispering to himself almost in awe. Bobby had started to walk away, back to the reception, trying to contain all his anger in, but not really succeeding. “Hyung! It’s been more than ten years! It didn’t mean anything!” He was calling out to Bobby, who did not even turn to glance behind. Bobby marched purposefully past guests, who were in the midst of talking and eating. He stopped at the table where Junhoe had been sitting, waiting for him with Donghyuk’s family._

 

_Tammy, Donghyuk’s wife, was fawning over Dongie and the twins were having an animated conversation with Nani as Donghyuk looked on proudly. Junhoe’s face lit with concern as he sighted Bobby trudging towards their table, a storm practically brewing on his carven face._

 

_“Donghyuk, would you mind looking after the kids for awhile? I need to talk to Junhoe.” Bobby said hurriedly, hooking a hand on to one of Junhoe’s elbow proprietarily. Donghyuk blinked, looking at Bobby, perplexed at seeing the anger etched on his face._

 

_“Sure. Is everything okay?” He asked, looking worriedly at Junhoe then back at Bobby, but Bobby was already half dragging a baffled Junhoe up and towards the beach house. Junhoe managed to flash an apologetic smile and followed, trying to align his steps to match with Bobby’s speed. Thankfully, the kids were oblivious to what was happening around them._

 

_“Bobby, Bobby.” Junhoe whispered fiercely, “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” He was struggling to get Bobby to release his arm, but his grip was like a vise, strong and impossible to free himself from. “Bobby?” Junhoe cried now, softly. Bobby was hurting his arm and Bobby had never hurt him before._

 

_They were down the corridor of the beach house, which was thankfully quiet. Hanbin had rented the whole place and their families were staying there for the weekend. Bobby dragged Junhoe all the way to their room, pushing him in through the doorway forcefully and slamming the door shut. “Bobby, what’s wrong? The kids…” Junhoe started saying, hapless and gazing at Bobby in complete bafflement. Bobby pulled him, turned and pinned him against the back of the door. Junhoe stared at his face; there was anger and frustration written all over it. And for the first time, it was aimed directly at him._

 

_“You are mine, right?” He asked, his voice seeming to quiver with rage. “Tell me, I swear to God, Junhoe, tell me you are mine!” He roared. The last time Bobby was this angry was when they had returned from the police station in humiliation after the attempted assault on Junhoe. Bobby had gone on a rampage, smashing plates and cups in the kitchen. It took him almost an hour to calm down. Only he never directed his anger towards Junhoe. Never. This was new._

 

_And somewhat exciting._

 

_“Jiwonnie-ya.” Junhoe whispered in wonder, fingers caressing that sharp jawline with tenderness._

 

_“Jagiya.” Bobby groaned finding his eyes; those warm, brown eyes that had always been lucid and clear when they anchored on him. Transparent in his love for Bobby, calming him. “Please,” Bobby pleaded now, his voice hoarse, as if all the anger was now reluctantly leaving him, “tell me you are mine.” Bobby urged, cheek now grazing Junhoe’s, his thin lips, warm and pliant._

 

_“I am yours, Jiwonnie-ya.” Junhoe moaned back in answer, grinding his hips into Bobby because damn, if all that had happened so far was not turning him on quite so suddenly. “You know I belong to you, every single part of me.” Junhoe exhaled as Bobby pushed against him just as feverishly, the sounds of buttons pattering onto the hardwood floor was almost like music, as he ripped the front of Junhoe’s shirt without much thought, lips latching against that flawless neck, already stretching upwards gracefully, straining against his mouth._

 

_Every part of their bare skin which came into contact with each other seem to throb with life._

 

_Bobby’s mouth against Junhoe’s clavicles. Bobby’s fingers, dipping into the waistband of Junhoe’s pants, slipping through the briefs that had suddenly become too tight; tugging at and finding the length his pulsating member._

 

_Junhoe’s fingers raking through Bobby’s curls urgently wanting more, Junhoe’s calves sliding like velvet against Bobby’s and Junhoe’s pectorals, now exposed to Bobby’s other hand, a finger grazing his nipple with abandonment._

 

_Every bit of them was alive and craving for the other’s touch._

 

_“Strip yourself and get into bed. Now.” Bobby suddenly released him and Junhoe scrambled to obey, half running past Bobby, tugging away at the remnants of his shirt and pulling down his pants, kicking it aside thoughtlessly. Bobby turned, biting his lips, watching Junhoe as he crawled up urgently into the bed and turned to lay on his back. His naked body now displayed; majestic, magnificent and most importantly, squirming with a virulent need for him._

 

_For Bobby._

 

_For Jiwon._

 

_For Jiwonnie-ya._

 

_Only._

 

_Junhoe gazed at him from the bed, those eyes begging for immediate gratification, but Bobby had other plans. He undressed himself with a slowness that was excruciating, eyes lighted keenly as Junhoe began stroking himself, because Bobby was taking way too long._

 

_“Jiwonnie-ya…” Junhoe called him, arching his body up as he continued stroking, hooded eyes latching, watching as Bobby slowly let his shirt fall to the floor and then unfolding his khakis in a languid manner._

 

_“Don’t you dare come on your own, jagiya.” Bobby intoned, deriving some sort of pleasure from his warning. “Fuck, look at you. You are perfect.” Bobby groaned, taking off his boxers, revealing the tumescent result of all that anger and blind jealousy._

 

_“Come here and fuck me. Please…I want you.” Junhoe moaned, his body thrashing as he resisted the urge to stroke himself again, his fingers eating into the sheets. His long, limber legs were quivering, as if he was in some self-contained rapture, which was about to tear him apart. Bobby, instead walked towards the mini-bar fridge, opening it, reaching for a can of cold beer. “Jiwon?” Junhoe brought his elbows up, staring as if he could anticipate what Bobby already had in mind. Bobby grinned as he opened the can and took a draught, walking slowly towards the bed. Some of that golden liquid escaped from his lips, and dribbled down his chest._

__

_Junhoe pushed himself up and sat against the edge of the bed as Bobby loomed between his legs. Bobby took another draught, purposely allowing a second rivulet of bubbly gold to cascade down his body and Junhoe’s tongue was there this time to catch the trail of cold liquid, as it trilled down the chiseled valley of Bobby’s abs. Junhoe inhaled, lips savouring the beer with latent focus._

 

_Even if he did not enjoy beer personally, on Bobby, it tasted like heaven. His tongue and fingers swirled against the landscape of Bobby’s stomach, slurping as much as he can, not wanting to waste a single drop._

 

_“Lie back, jagiya.” Bobby groaned, his voice taking on that guttural tone when he was deeply aroused. Junhoe shifted, lying back on the bed with Bobby shadowing over him. Bobby poured the beer all over Junhoe’s body with a pleasure he could barely conceal and Junhoe yelped._

 

_“Jiwon, it’s cold!” Junhoe shivered, trying to sit up, cringing from the sudden change in his body temperature. Bobby took a last draught of the beer, crushed the can and slam-dunked it into the wastebasket near the bed. His hands gripped onto Junhoe’s shoulders, pushing him back to lie down._

 

_“You will be warm again by the time we are done.” Bobby promised, as he knelt over Junhoe’s body, licking the beer from off that smooth, tanned chest surreptitiously._

 

_“Fuck!” Junhoe screamed, when Bobby’s tongue swirled around his nipple, lips latching, pulling in. Groans of pleasure escaped from Junhoe’s mouth as those lips travelled downwards, slurping against the walls of his belly. “Jiwonnie-ya…” He gasped, writhing in ecstasy as Bobby made little nibbles against the flesh from his abs. Bobby grunted with pleasure as he took Junhoe into his mouth. Junhoe’s fingers raked into his curls, lips stringing a line of curses as Bobby sucked the beer from off him as if he was drinking from a straw. Junhoe began to thrust himself, even as Bobby continued sucking. Whenever Junhoe wanted to withdraw, Bobby’s fingers gripped the swells of his derriere and pushed him further into Bobby’s mouth, eliciting groans that barely formed any coherent words. “I’m going to come, Jiwon-ah!” Junhoe shouted and Bobby took it all in, everything that was Junhoe, which in turn, belonged to him._

 

_Bobby wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and crawled upwards, throwing kisses against that lengthy body now glistening with the sheen of glorious, after-love sweat. He found that graceful neck, making little indents with his teeth, all the while grinding his groin against Junhoe. Junhoe’s body seem to thrum with the sort of low-key energy Bobby was attuned to. It meant that he was still up for more and he was willing to do anything to keep up with this surge of pleasure emanating from Bobby. Bobby’s mouth found his and Junhoe could taste himself in the kiss; it was redolent with faint traces of beer and the fury Bobby had aimed at him awhile ago._

 

_When they broke for air, Junhoe wasted no time in placing the tips of his fingers into Bobby’s mouth, to draw more spit._

 

_“Mmmph…jagiya?” Bobby muffled against those tapered fingers, licking them, biting playfully. Junhoe’s laugh, rich and textured, structured to cause ripples in his heart, filled the room. Junhoe’s hand folded over him, like velvet and silk, always ready to bring him close over the edge, never disappointing. Bobby placed his own fingers into Junhoe’s mouth, it was sticky and sweet with the malt from the beer and Junhoe sucked on it happily. “Fuck.” Bobby whispered, realising that he would come into Junhoe’s hand soon if he did not stop all that fervent stroking. “Jagiya, wait. Stop. I want to come in you.” Bobby declared and Junhoe released him. Bobby’s fingers found the opening between the plump of Junhoe’s ass and Bobby inserted his fingers one at a time, pacing himself, not wanting to cause him any discomfort._

 

_Junhoe brought his knees up to cushion Bobby’s hips and to allow him better access. Bobby pulled himself up so that he could gaze into those eyes as he witness Junhoe take in his length. Junhoe framed his hands on Bobby’s cheeks, pushing back the curls, taking in the slits of his bright, brown eyes, the sharp nose, fingers cupping that jawline tenderly in fascination._

 

_“Love, I’m ready.” He declared and Bobby slipped himself in with more patience than he normally would care to indulge. Still, it had been awhile since they had time for such a long, drawn-out intimacy and though his anger had receded, Bobby wanted Junhoe with no trace of bitterness in his heart._

 

_None, whatsoever._

 

_Bobby slid himself to the hilt, incurring soft moans from Junhoe and then pinned him down with his weight. Bobby began to thrust, slow and steady, with a cadence that was calm and absolutely blissful. He locked his arms around Junhoe’s head, as if treasuring him; lips finding Junhoe’s own almost instinctively._

 

_Every stroke meant moving together, deriving pleasure that only they could possibly give to each other._

 

_When they were together deep within the osmosis of each other’s embrace, when all the walls and defenses they had put up stopped existing, only this connection was left. It was unspoken between them; words never needed, thoughts not meant to be processed. There was just this; the two of them, blissful in the ecstasy of belonging to each other._

 

_“I love you, Junhoe-ya.” Bobby sputtered as his closure came full circle, sweat trickling down his chin, falling against Junhoe’s cheek, as they remain attached, both spiritually and physically. Junhoe’s limbs encircled him tightly. In that moment, as they laid quietly in this shared space, bodies glistening, panting and sharing this breathing space, they were perfect._

 

_“I love you too, Jiwonnie-ya. You are the only one for me. You’ll always be.” Junhoe chanted against Bobby’s ear, almost like a prayer._

 

_A quick shower and a change of clothes saw them back at the reception just in time to take the group photo. Junhoe was glad he decided to bring extra shirts for them, because there was definitely no way he could salvage the one Bobby had ripped the buttons of. Bobby swept Dongie into his arms and Nani ran into Junhoe’s. They moved closer to Yunhyeong and Hanbin, who were positively glowing from happiness._

 

_Someone moved behind them, Bobby glanced back, saw that it was Chanwoo and ruffled that fringe, which was covering half his eye. He grinned apologetically, catching Dongie as the boy jumped from Bobby’s arms into his comfortably, squealing incandescent laughter._

 

_“Chanwoo Samcheon!” Dongie exclaimed, hugging Chanwoo tightly. Chanwoo returned the embrace gratefully, as Bobby placed an arm around the maknae._

 

_“Hey Bruce Wayne!" Chanwoo called him. "Look in front, Dongie and smile, we are going to take a picture!” Chanwoo urged him and the boy obeyed._

 

_“Okay everyone!” Donghyuk was shouting now, holding up a picture of Jinhwan and his wife. “Everyone say ‘Aloha!’” He added and everyone did._

 

 

 

_~~~~~_

 

 

 

“Do you remember when I kissed you? For the movie?” Chanwoo was saying now as the waiter left after bringing along the sizzling steaks. Junhoe glanced across the table in trepidation. He observed quietly as Chanwoo began cutting his steak into strips. Chanwoo had always been organized in his manners. He had a certain way of doing things; like the way he would cut his steak into strips, or arranged his baseball caps in order of the year it was released. Junhoe had always thought it burdensome, but having children made him accept that routines are very much like comfort zones. With their routines, his kids were more focused and tantrums were reduced. “Ya-Koo Junhoe, this is not much of a date if you keep zoning out when I’m talking to you.” Chanwoo was intoning now.

 

“ _Heba_. I’m listening. I remember it.” Junhoe stated, cutting into his steak slowly. He had only ever kissed two men in his life. He married one and the other was right across from him. “I also remember punching your face after it.” Chanwoo choked on the piece he was already chewing in his mouth. The waiter hurried over in concerned and Chanwoo dismissed him, grabbing the stem of his wineglass and taking a draught from the bottle of Moët et Chandon the waiter had just poured for them awhile ago. “Are you alright?” Junhoe had sat up in concerned. Chanwoo nodded, wracking another cough before settling back. Junhoe’s eyes were wide on him as he continued chewing his wagyu.

 

“You punch like a girl.” Chanwoo countered and Junhoe rolled his eyes, because that comeback was a little too late.

 

“It wasn’t the power that mattered. It was the principle of it.” Junhoe explained.

 

“You told Bobby-hyung about it.” Junhoe stopped eating, completely baffled by the accusatory tone in Chanwoo’s voice.

 

“Yes, I did. Also, this happened before we were even married, why are you bringing it up now?” Junhoe stated. Chanwoo loosened his collar, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

 

“I thought he didn’t know. As part of my role preparation, I had to tell somebody a devastating secret so during Yunyeong-hyung’s wedding I…”

 

“You thought you’d tell him.” Junhoe surmised, a smile filled with amusement spreading across his winsome face. There was also a sense of something else, a realization? It was hard to perceive. Even after all these years Junhoe remained as protective of his emotions as he had been when they were still collectively in a group. “Well, that explains a lot.” Junhoe was whispering under his breath, shaking his head.

 

“Explains what?” Chanwoo inquired, focusing on his steak again. “Did I…am I the cause of your marital problems?” Chanwoo was saying now and Junhoe stared after him for all of five seconds before braying into spontaneous and loud laughter which filled the whole space of the restaurant. Thankfully, Chanwoo had it booked for the night so it was empty, but the waiter was quick to walk in and once more, Chanwoo dismissed him. “Auh, _jjinja_! What’s so funny?“ Chanwoo was questioning now, staring at Junhoe with an incredulous look on his face.

 

“You. Do you think Bobby would have allowed you to bring me out tonight if he thinks you are the cause of our marital problems?” Junhoe threw the question back at him, bringing his pointer and middle fingers up, hooking them into the inverted signs as he said the last two words. “Bobby would have called you a dipshit and beat you within an inch of your life for even thinking something along the lines!” Junhoe exclaimed, his laughter fading off and he took a sip of the champagne.

 

“I think this is why I fail at relationships.” Chanwoo was sharing in frustration. “I’m really bad at reading people.” Junhoe placed the wineglass down, grabbing his fork and poking at the potato truffle salad, which had been their appetiser.

 

“Why did she break up with you?” Junhoe asked, chewing the butterhead lettuce thoughtfully. Chanwoo looked up, gone was the poised, handsome actor Junhoe had gone to the party with. The misery in those doe-like eyes was too painful to dismiss. For once, there was true emotion there. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Chanu-ya.” Junhoe added softly.Chanwoo shook his head.

 

“She says I’m too materialistic. And that, all I can think about is baseball. “ Chanwoo admitted ruefully.

 

“What have you given her in your relationship?” Junhoe asked, gazing intently at the boy.

 

“Stuff, mostly jewellery and some perfumes…” Chanwoo began to prattle. Junhoe clicked his tongue to stop him.

 

“I meant emotionally, what have you brought to the table?” Junhoe was specific. Chanwoo blinked, looking absolutely flummoxed.

 

“I guess I never thought of it…that way.” Chanwoo exhaled heavily.

 

“Only because you’ve never fallen completely in love.” Junhoe declared. “Is she…a woman of means?” Junhoe asked further and Chanwoo’s brows furrowed, uncertain of what Junhoe meant exactly by the question. Junhoe sighed loudly, realising that Chanwoo was absolutely clueless when it came to matters of the heart. “Does she have her own career? Has her own money?” Chanwoo was really testing his patience, but Junhoe realised that Chanwoo really needed a different perspective at the way he viewed personal relationships.

 

“Ah-she’s a fashion designer. She has her own line and quite independent…” Chanwoo began to ramble again.

 

“So those stuff, those gifts, no matter how expensive or extravagant mean nothing to her. She can buy them for herself. You have to give her something that money can’t buy.” Junhoe duly informed him.

 

“I’m not giving her MJ.” Chanwoo was quickly saying now. Junhoe brought a hand up to tap his forehead. Chanwoo bought a Shiba Inu from Japan last year. He christened her MJ and she was adorable.

 

“Ya-Jung Chanwoo, don’t be so daft. No one wants MJ. I’m saying your heart, you asshat. You need to give her your love and attention.” Junhoe explained.

 

“I did! I brought her to all the LG games last season and we even went to Lotte Amusement Park when they had the inaugural baseball festival! We had fun!” Chanwoo protested. Junhoe sighed heavily.

 

“Ah-Jung Chanwoo. Are you even listening to yourself right now? You are so hopeless, aren’t you?” Junhoe sighed. “Do you know her favourite food? Her favourite place for a meal? Have you ever booked a restaurant and treated her to this same steak meal?” Junhoe was saying now in a barrage that left Chanwoo speechless.

 

“Jiwon- _hyung_ , asked me to book it. I mean it wasn’t my idea. I’m paying for it, of course but it was his idea. But…but I also think I get what you are trying to say.” Chanwoo enthused, looking exactly like that night when Junhoe had punched him in the face.

 

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

 

_Myeong-Dong,_

_Slightly more than 10 years ago_

 

_The apartment was definitely swanky and expensive by the looks of it. It was a good location too. Chanwoo had greeted him at the lobby with a wave and everything fell back into place as things go with Junhoe; awkwardly quiet. Chanwoo pressed the button to the thirty fifth floor and the glass elevator afforded them a view of the city. By the time they passed the nineteenth floor, Junhoe was gripping the railing tightly._

 

_“You still have a fear of heights?” Chanwoo asked in amusement, gazing at Junhoe’s hands, noting the the way the whites of his knuckles were showing as the elevator hummed softly upwards. Junhoe did not answer. He had spent the last two weeks in the company and comfort of family. He brought his mum and his sister to a spa. Went fishing with his dad. Played with BbangDdaeng, who could barely even run nowadays. He realised that if he died in this metal box with Chanwoo, he was only left with the one thing he thought he should be doing all along and that was to finally say yes to Bobby’s proposal of marriage._

 

_“What’s this new movie of yours like? I mean, what’s so bad about it that you need my help with it?” He managed to grit between his teeth. Chanwoo chuckled._

 

_“It’s not bad, alright? My agent says it’s a…uh, a challenging character. Very complex but it would require me to study certain people.” Chanwoo contended. The elevator came to a stop and Junhoe could finally open his eyes, walking out slowly to regain equilibrium._

 

_“Wah-jjinja! You really made it, didn’t you?” Junhoe was exclaiming now, looking around the massive bachelor’s pad filled with expensive furnishings and state-of-the-art electronics. Chanwoo shrugged._

 

_“With my schedule? I barely have time to be here. You want anything to drink? Beer? I might have whisky.” Chanwoo’s voice faded as he walked into the kitchen._

 

_“Just soda will do.” Junhoe replied, settling on the leather couch, trying to make himself comfortable. Chanwoo came back with a can of Sprite, a can of beer and two empty glasses._

 

_“You need ice?” He asked as he settled all these onto the clear glass table. Junhoe shook his head, all of a sudden missing Bobby. Yunhyeong had visited a month ago and then Donghyuk had gotten him to help out with the children’s guitar class at his academy. It felt like everything had finally settled down and he could feel safe again yet something was missing. He had thought flying back to meet his family would calm him again but after two weeks, all he could think about was how Bobby was doing without him. Chanwoo had disappeared, coming out with a thick, black folder. He held it out to Junhoe, who took it, not without a touch of amusement on his face. “That’s the script.”_

 

_“Hold on a moment! Are you expecting me to read this whole thing?” Junhoe asked, gazing at Chanwoo in disbelief. “Just tell me what it’s about and where do you need help with it.” Junhoe rasped, almost in exasperation._

 

_“It’s about this college professor. He’s really rigid, uptight. He’s always fought changes and then one day he gets this student, who’s difficult, always arguing with his philosophy and his theories’. They clashed and eventually the professor falls in love with him.”_

 

_“Wait…’him'? The professor’s…gay?” Junhoe asked. Chanwoo nodded. “What kind of a crack script is this?”_

 

_“I’m auditioning for the role of the professor next week.” Chanwoo admitted._

 

_“You? Play a gay professor? You are kidding me, right?” Junhoe was close to laughter, until he saw Chanwoo’s solemn visage. “You are not kidding me.” Junhoe whispered his exhale. Chanwoo shook his head. Junhoe looked at the script again ‘The Pygmalion’, the title read and then gazed back up at Chanwoo, who nodded in affirmation. After long moments, he passed the script back to Chanwoo and heaved a long, drawn-out sigh. “Fine, read it.”_

 

_Hours passed, they stopped and ordered takeaways. The glass table began to be filled with post-it notes, food boxes, more cans of soda. Surprisingly, Chanwoo was doing well with his lines. It was the scenes where the professor started questioning his attraction for San Cheung, the student character, that Chanwoo seem to have the most trouble with. He kept fumbling or forgetting the lines. Junhoe glanced outside the glass windows and realised that it had already gotten darker._

 

_“Let’s do the library scene one more time. You take San Cheung.” Chanwoo suggested. Junhoe had never seen Chanwoo this frustrated before. He was definitely bothered, enough to undo the top two buttons of his blouse. His hair had become messy from raking his fingers through it too many times in exasperation and his brows were furrowed._

 

_It reminded him of Bobby whenever he was stumped with the work of putting together samples and trying to get ‘a beat’. That was what he called it, ‘a beat’, as if it was some elusive place yet to be discovered by man._

 

_Junhoe took the folder from Chanwoo. The library scene was definitely tough, it was the professor coming to terms with the sizzling attraction that kept simmering to the surface whenever San Cheung was around and it climaxed to a kissing scene._

 

_“Look, no offense, Professor Park, I personally feel that including this theory, is not only detrimental to the study, but it will also leave you vulnerable to the criticism of your peers.”_

 

_“Why do you always have to counter my arguments with your feelings, San-sshi? Be objective. Keep your feelings out of this.”_

 

_“It’s not my fault if you can’t keep yours out of it too.” Junhoe made a half-hearted bid to push Chanwoo’s shoulder as the script instructed, Chanwoo in turn grabbed him by the collars of his shirt quite suddenly. Junhoe was launched forward by the momentum of Chanwoo’s actions and because he had been caught off guard by it, Junhoe missed hitting into Chanwoo’s skull by mere inches. Junhoe realised that Jung Chanwoo had ceased to exist, there was only Professor Park Soo Rim and if he was following the script closely, what happened next was definitely unthinkable._

 

_“Punk.” Chanwoo exhaled gruffly and pushed his lips against Junhoe’s._

 

_Junhoe struggled against the feel of Chanwoo’s lips on his mouth. This truly felt like a million kinds of wrong and what was alarming was Chanwoo’s tongue slipping in between his lips even as he continued to push himself out and away from Chanwoo’s grip on his shirt. Chanwoo, who had kept his lids closed, suddenly fluttered them open, saw Junhoe and released him. He looked horrified, his dark black eyes, as big and round as saucers._

 

_“Ya-you fucking asshole!” Junhoe yelled, throwing a punch instinctively. It landed squarely against that refined jaw and Junhoe stood up, moving instinctively away from the couch._

 

_“Junhoe, I...I’m sorry. “ Chanwoo apologised, standing up, looking absolutely frazzled, a hand cupping his jaw._

 

_“Ya-Jung Chanwoo!” Junhoe was half-crying now. “Eeeeew!” His voice broke as he ran towards the bathroom. When he came out Chanwoo was standing by the window, a hand cupping the back of his head, looking apologetic._

 

_“I’m sorry, Junhoe-ya. I guess…I got too caught up with the character. Can I just buy you supper, please?” He was rushing through his words, turning redder as he continued. Junhoe shook his head earnestly._

 

_“It’s fine, I have to head back.” Junhoe replied, wiping his mouth, still wet with the water he must have gargled twenty or more times in his mouth. Junhoe began to unlock his phone, meaning to call for Uber service._

 

_“No, let me send you home.” Chanwoo quickly said, walking over as if to take his phone. Junhoe moved a few steps back and Chanwoo stopped. “Ya-Koo Junhoe, I’m not going to do anything to you. It was an accident, alright? Shit, Jiwon-hyung is gonna kill me.” He was talking to himself now._

 

_“Chanwoo, it’s alright. I understand. It’s just me, I feel uncomfortable. I mean, this is not my scene. I just feel like flying back to Vancouver right this moment. I miss him.” Junhoe admitted in frustration._

 

_It was really hard to explain. He had never been kissed by anyone else before. Had never loved anyone this much. He wanted…no, he needed to be with Bobby. It was crazy, but tonight, he felt as if he really knew who he was and who he wanted to be with._

 

_“Then at least let me send you to your parents’ house. Let me make it up to you.” Chanwoo pleaded, gazing at him in concern. Junhoe nodded, standing by the door and Chanwoo grabbed his car keys before Junhoe decided to change his mind._

 

_Silence sat heavily between them as Chanwoo cruised out of the basement parking lot. Junhoe was amazed by the changes he was seeing. There was even a billboard ad featuring male models embracing._

 

_“Is it better here now? For people like me and Bobby?” He asked genuinely, breaking the heaviness between them._

 

_“I think for the current generation? Yes. And more acceptance from older generations too. Your parents are a good example.” Chanwoo said. “You planning on coming back?” Chanwoo asked curiously and Junhoe nodded. “I hope it’s not too forward of me to ask, but what are your plans with Jiwon-hyung?” Chanwoo added._

 

_“It’s too forward of you.” Junhoe sassed back and Chanwoo barked a deep baritone laugh which was quite pleasant to hear. “I’m not really sure, but maybe later. I’d love for my kids to grow up here, near my family.” Junhoe admitted after awhile when Chanwoo was done laughing and the silence settled, more comfortably now._

 

_“Family, huh? You sure you up for raising kids?” Chanwoo teased, cruising out the expressway near the exit, nearest to his parents’ house._

 

_“What? You think I’ll be bad at it?” Junhoe quipped back and Chanwoo shook his head._

 

_“I think both you and Jiwon-hyung will make great parents. I see him as being the cool father and you, the naggy mother.” Chanwoo added playfully, not realising how prophetic those words were going to be. Junhoe rolled his eyes and Chanwoo laughed again. It felt better this time round, Junhoe could almost forget what happened between them almost an hour ago._

 

_“Ya-what do you mean? I can be a cool dad, too.” Junhoe chided, looking hurt._

 

_“Maybe. But I can imagine your kid running around in diapers, eating hotbars.” Chanwoo chuckled. Junhoe gave him a slight kick. “Ow! I was just kidding!” Chanwoo cried, giving the signal to turn left into the road that led them to their destination. Chanwoo cruised his Hyundai MPV to a stop._

 

_“Ya-why do you need such a big car for?” Junhoe glanced behind, saw the pressed blouses hanging at the back seat and stacks of folders…no, scripts and bottles of mineral water as well as pre-packed buns. “Jung Chanwoo, please don’t tell me you live in your car?” Junhoe gaze back at him in disbelief, unbuckling the seatbelt slowly._

 

_“Most days, yes. I’m tired of playing the hero or the prince.” Chanwoo exhaled. Junhoe stared at him closely realising that he was definitely serious. Still chasing dreams. Junhoe left that behind years ago, but Chanwoo was keeping his strong._

 

_“Well, I wish you all the success in getting the roles that you want.” Junhoe stated sincerely, but Chanwoo hunkering over the wheel, looking absolutely defeated, made him realise he needed to say more. “Ya-Chanuya?” Junhoe called out as he was alighting. Chanwoo turned his head, looking drained and sleepy. “When you come in for the kiss, turn your head slightly.” Junhoe suggested. Chanwoo sat up, paying close attention. “There must be some hesitation before you actually go in, as if you are still half-hearted. And please, ask your co-star if he is comfortable with having your tongue in his mouth, otherwise, practice in the mirror on how to make it look as if you are really kissing, or risk being punched again.” Chanwoo nodded, a mischievous smile already playing on his lips._

 

_“Was that how you practiced kissing Jiwon-hyung?” Chanwoo teased as Junhoe was about to exit. Junhoe flashed him the middle finger, eliciting another round of that bass laugh. Chanwoo was surprised when Junhoe bend over awhile later._

 

_“And thank you.” Junhoe added, as if in afterthought._

 

_“What for?” Chanwoo asked, his dimple smile making its timely appearance._

 

_“For being brave enough to want to take on such a role. It’s tough, but I admire you for wanting this.” Junhoe added, flashing that gummy grin Chanwoo had not realised he treasured so much. Junhoe shut the door, tapping the car and Chanwoo drove off feeling resolutely confident for his auditions next week._

 

 

_~~~~~_

 

 

Junhoe could barely touch the wagyu after two mouthfuls. It was just not right enjoying it without Bobby.

 

“I thought you’d be hungry. You spent the last two hour being arm candy. It must have been burdensome.” Chanwoo commented, smiling satisfactorily, eating the last piece of his steak. Junhoe’s lip curled into that half smile that was part amusement and all unimpressed. “You must be wishing Jiwon- _hyung_ was here instead of me.” Chanwoo remarked, over the rim of the champagne glass he had just finished sipping from.

 

“How would you know?” Junhoe replied with sarcasm.

 

“Because he’s walking in towards us right now.” Chanwoo stated, standing up. Junhoe stood up immediately, turning to see that Bobby was in fact strutting in, decked in a suit as well. Junhoe’s half smile dissipated and beamed into a megawatt smile even their waiter found exquisitely fascinating. Bobby walked towards him, holding out his arms as Junhoe stepped into that space which belonged to him. They kissed and the clanging sound of the tray forgotten in the waiter’s hand filled the restaurant. “Wah, _jjeongmal_ , you two! It’s only been hours. This is too much. I’m going to barf in my mouth.” Chanwoo was saying now, clutching his abdomen in an exaggerated manner. Junhoe’s smile as the kiss ended, remained intact. He then kicked Bobby on his shin. Bobby shouted in pain, looking at Junhoe in disbelief.

 

“That’s for asking him to take me here on a date. I didn’t need it.” Junhoe wryly commented. The waiter, who had been walking in, stopped when he sighted Bobby hopping in pain. “Please set the table for another with the same menu.” Junhoe requested, turning on that charm once more. The waiter duly obeyed.

 

“I was going to make a grand entrance!” Bobby declared. “And save you from him.” He pointed to Chanwoo.

 

“Ya-I didn’t do anything!” Chanwoo was exclaiming innocently. Junhoe sat back down as the waiter came back with another champagne glass and a napkin while another one set the plates and cutlery. They observed in continued silence as a chair was placed, so that Bobby could now join the table that had been meant for two.

 

“Is the food any good?” Bobby asked. Junhoe cut a piece of his steak and fed it to Bobby immediately. Bobby chewed happily, beaming at Junhoe. “Yours is still better.” Bobby commented.

 

“He makes wagyu steak?” Chanwoo asked incredulously. Junhoe nodded proudly. “Then we should have asked him to cook. This is such a waste of my money.” Chanwoo complained.

 

“Yah-Jung Chanu, you owe us this much for apology!” Bobby countered.

 

“Wait, he’s paying for all this as an apology. For what?” Junhoe gazed at both of them. Chanwoo smirked at Junhoe. “Love, not for that, right? It happened like before we were even married.” Junhoe whispered, clasping Bobby’s hand in his from under the table.

 

“You were still mine back then. He had no right to even think of touching you.” Bobby pouted, gesturing for Junhoe to continue feeding him. Junhoe did without complaining. 

 

“Ah-this is making me so upset.” Chanwoo was saying now. “If I had known I’d be paying this much, I should have done more.” They both glared at Chanwoo. “Okay, I was just kidding. Hashtag, relationship goals.” Chanwoo was mocking now.

 

“Ya- _imma_ , you should do better, too. That girl was good for you. She had her own money, so you know she’s not with you for the cash. Just treat her better.” Bobby nagged, sipping the champagne. “And stop with this baseball obsession! You are not a child anymore!”

 

“Ah Jiwon- _hyung_ , you sound like a drunk _ahjussi_. Stop it.” Chanwoo griped, covering his ears. Junhoe was giggling watching the whole exchange. The food came and they enjoyed the view in silence.

 

“Did you go visit Jinan-hyung? Isn’t the baby cute?” Junhoe gushed. Chanwoo nodded. Between Donghyuk’s twins, the Kim’s rambunctious duo and now Jinhwan’s recent baby girl, Chanwoo could barely believe that the six men he called his brothers were settling down and having their own families. It was always wonderful to see how they have expanded not just in size, but love.

 

“What was her name again?” Bobby asked.

 

“Kim Su-jin.” Junhoe reminded Bobby as he continued eating.

 

“You guys should have a baby girl. She would be perfect after Nani and Dongie.” Chanwoo teased. When Junhoe and Bobby failed to answer, Chanwoo looked at one and then the other, gauging the knowing grins both were displaying. It was uncanny, but maybe it was true after all, that when you have been together long enough, even your smiles matched. “Wait? Are you guys really considering it?” Junhoe was gazing at Bobby now, the smile on his face was beatific, almost saintly. Bobby was nodding, urging Junhoe to continue.

 

“We are looking at suitable surrogate mothers, right now.” Junhoe admitted sheepishly. Chanwoo clapped his hands in delight.

 

“And here I thought you guys had marital problems!” He was definitely tickled at the thought. “Well, while you guys are still enjoying yourself, I might as well inform you. I booked the honeymoon suite for the both of you tonight.” Chanwoo announced, looking pleased with himself.

 

“Was that why you asked me to dress up and meet you here?” Bobby asked draining the champagne cheerfully. Junhoe side-eyed Chanwoo skeptically.

 

“You didn’t put some spy camera in it to record us or something, right?” Junhoe teased.

 

“I’d want to watch that!” Bobby enthused and Junhoe slapped his knee, laughing as Chanwoo made a face filled with disgust.

 

“Ya-lovebirds, here’s the keycard. It should be good until three in the afternoon so make full use of room service as well. Level twenty-two, so make sure you hold Junhoe’s hand, _hyung_.” Chanwoo had stood up, placing the card embossed with the hotel’s name across it.

 

“For someone who complained about how extravagant you have had to spend, you are being mighty generous all of a sudden.” Junhoe commented. Bobby sat back.

 

“Name the baby after me when she’s born.” Chanwoo joked. “I’ve got to go. I have filming in the morning. If you guys need more time, tell me, I’ll drop by your place and bring the boys out for ice-cream. I mean, if you both are fine by it.” Chanwoo added. “I miss the squirts.” He added, his dimpled smile making a fabulous return. 

 

“That would be, okay?” Bobby gazed at Junhoe in uncertainty. Junhoe nodded, a splendiferous smile plastered across his lips. “If my love says it’s okay, then it’s okay.” Bobby declared.

 

“You are so whipped, Jiwon- _hyung_. If I wasn’t straight, it’d be kinda hot.” Chanwoo teased. Junhoe stood up and made an action as if to kick him. “I’ll see you lovebirds, tomorrow then?” Bobby stood up, clasping Chanwoo’s hand and giving him a brotherly hug. Chanwoo opened his arms to hug Junhoe, but Bobby pushed him off. Junhoe offered his hand, which Chanwoo accepted gratefully.

 

 

~~~~~

 

 

“I’m worried about that one.” Junhoe was saying as they entered the elevator.

 

“Who? Chanwoo? He’ll be fine.” Bobby dismissed, encircling an arm around that perfectly shaped waist. “Also, may I just add that you look particularly ravishing tonight?” Bobby added, nibbling at Junhoe’s earlobe.

 

“Stop.” Junhoe pleaded, trying to push Bobby away from him. “Jiwon-ah…” Bobby was working on his neck now, licking and showering kisses which were getting extremely intense. “I was talking about Chanwoo.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about Chanwoo, jagiya. You look so good in that suit, I can’t wait to take it off you.” Bobby murmured. They reached the floor and Bobby inserted the keycard.

 

The honeymoon suite was definitely spacious, there was a bottle of champagne already waiting, placed within a bucket of ice. Junhoe walked to the glass window, gazing out at the twinkling lights of the skyscrapers which could barely rival the shimmering stars of the night sky. Bobby walked over, admiring both the scenery and Junhoe’s back. There was something about seeing him wearing a suit which always brought him back memories of the time when they were still performing together. The wide back, the smooth slopes of his shoulders; how manly he looks yet he was able to move with such fluidity and grace. Junhoe turned to him, leaning arms latching on his shoulder.

 

“You looked good tonight. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you in a suit.” Junhoe commented, expressing the exact sentiments which were going through his head at that very moment.

 

“Ditto, _jagi_.” Bobby whispered back, hands finding the familiar curves of Junhoe’s back, moving slowly down the spine, drawing him closer.

 

“The boys alright?” Junhoe asked, lips slightly parted, breathing softly against that jawline he dearly loved to run his fingers along.

 

“In safe hands. Our mums have taken over.” Bobby said, running a hand over that profile he had embossed in his mind so resolutely. Junhoe chuckled and gazed upon him quizzically.

 

“That’s considered cheating.” He complained breathlessly as Bobby slowly pulled the cravat loose from Junhoe’s neck, cupped his nape gently and began showering the kisses Junhoe had cut short in the elevator.

 

“Hey, there’ll be another baby coming along in nine months', let me play that cheat card before it happens.” Bobby retorted. Junhoe ran his hands across Bobby’s chest, pulling out the smooth blouse from the pants and began unbuttoning it with measured tenderness. Bobby moaned softly, when those beautifully tapered fingers ran over his nipples gently.

 

“Still, it’s not fair.” Junhoe exhaled, when Bobby unsheathed his jacket over his shoulders quite suddenly, letting it drop heavily to the floor. Junhoe returned the favour by doing the same. Those same fingers on Bobby’s chest travelled past washboard abs, down the linen clad hips, finding traction along the bumpy swell that had formed between Bobby’s muscular thighs. “Mmmm…we need to figure out a way to punish you.” Junhoe whispered huskily, licking Bobby’s ear. Bobby groaned aloud. Between that heavenly voice and the administrations upon his arousal, Junhoe seem to have already set Bobby’s heart down a tremulous path.

 

“I can already think of a few. “ Bobby answered raspily as he pulled up the sleeveless wool vest Junhoe had on for his inner garb over his head revealing smooth skin the colour of melted caramel, lightly tanned and promising all the sweetness in the world. “Always perfect, _jagiya_.” Bobby enthused, lips folding over the curve of one shoulder as if wanting to take a bite.

 

“Shouldn’t we continue this on the bed?” Junhoe urged, nodding to the open door where a super king-sized bed had been strewn with petals of roses. Bobby grunted an agreement and with his hand still inside Bobby’s pants, Junhoe led him towards the intended room. The bed had been pushed up against a rough granite feature wall facing the magnificent view. Junhoe had stopped to admire it and Bobby had stopped kissing Junhoe’s body long enough to admire that flawless visage.

 

“You know, someone at the party knew me as that celebrated poet married to the hot rapper.” Junhoe shared even as he began unbuckling Bobby’s belt with dexterity.

 

“Have you found yourself another husband?” Bobby teased. Junhoe rolled his eyes.

 

“You are hot. You know that. You’ll always be.” Junhoe professed, kneeling down and pulling those pants with him. He was wearing the new boxers Junhoe had bought him. “Nice.” Junhoe exhaled, pulling them down immediately to pool between Bobby’s ankles, lips latching onto the prize, all ready and waiting so eagerly for him. Bobby clutched a handful of that silky black hair forcefully, enough not to hurt.

 

“Fuck. It must be nice, to be known as a celebrated poet. _Fuck_.” Bobby commented in between softly cursing. Junhoe’s mouth, absorbing his length like a sponge was always a welcome sensation. For awhile, there was nothing but silence and the sound of Junhoe sucking him intently. Bobby gazed downwards, enjoying that view more than the one before him, Junhoe looking up, his eyes, round, framed by thick, dark lashes, his mouth only filled with Bobby and nothing else. It was a sight which never failed to make Bobby want to thrust harder, deeper and dissolve into all that velvet haven between his lips. “Junhoe-ya…come up here and let me look at you, uh?” Bobby moaned. Junhoe stood up and Bobby circled him tightly into his arms for an embrace. “Ah~I missed you, _jagiya.”_ He sighed loudly. Junhoe held on to those muscular arms for support, fingers finding its familiar place along veins and ridges. “I can’t wait to see our baby girl, she’ll have your eyes and your smile. She’ll be beautiful.” Bobby declared confidently. A dark shadow passed over Junhoe’s face.

 

“She could have had yours, too.” Junhoe pouted. They had fought over that for several months. Since it was probably going to be their last attempt, Junhoe thought it was only fair they used Bobby’s samples for the insemination. Bobby had ardently protested, saying the baby will have better features if she had Junhoe’s genes. The battle went on for several weeks. It was Nani, who finally suggested they played rock, paper and scissors to determine the winner. Junhoe won, by a landslide. Then came a flurry of accusations of Bobby cheating, even the children took sides. Dongie cried and it was a chaotic mess for a whole day until Junhoe relented.

 

“But you agreed, quite suddenly. Why was that?” Bobby asked, the sparkle in his eyes, fascinating to behold.

 

“Because Dongie told me that we will have a Batgirl in the house and that it is not very gentlemanly, if all the superheroes in the house keeps fighting in front of her." Junhoe sighed, taking off his pants. Bobby chuckled proudly.

 

“That one. He might be mischievous like you, but he’s just as smart.” Bobby laughed.

 

“Nani, too. I caught him trying to move his bed last week.” Junhoe recalled.

 

“Why?’ Bobby asked, standing straighter so he could align both their erections.

 

“He wanted to make space for baby. Already asking me to get the ceiling repainted and to add a milky way so baby can sleep well at night. ” Junhoe’s voice had gone soft now, because whatever Bobby was doing right then, was making him tremble at the knees and he roped his arms around Bobby’s neck for support. “Fuck. Jiwonnie-ya.” He whispered in a drawn-out, high pitched moan which filled the room, as Bobby spat into his hands and began stroking them deliciously together. They would be busy again tomorrow, but tonight, it was just the two of them, safely cocooned within the desires which clearly held them sway over each other, even after almost twenty-odd years of being in love. For now, that was more than enough.

 


End file.
